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I think what my dad said is true.. I really should stop this lifestyle of mine.. Going back home late and only coming home to sleep for a few hours and there i go again.. Also this smoking habit of mine which causes a hole in my wallet.. Thinking bout it again, i could actually save a lot if i wasn't a smoker.. Haix..

Even though i don't like my dad to lecture or nag at me, but i know that he only wants what's best for me.. I guess i'll just have to keep holding on till i finally get a real job and a house on my own.. I have decided now to:

1. Be home by 12 everyday
2. Cut down my cigarette intake
3. Save some money

Tomorrow's the audition for talents.. I hope i get through.. Everyone, please wish me luck because i need it badly.. I need a change of environment.. That's one.. I need a higher paying job.. That's two.. And lastly, i want to be back on stage again because that's what i really want..

I just got this email from Faiz and i shall repost it on my blog..

Here's the deal. You look it over the following list and see how many of these things you have done. BUT you have to ADD up the money amount along the way. Then, post the amount that you are as the title of the bulletin.
PS: THE SMALLER THE BETTER!!!!!

1. Had sex: $10.00
2. Smoked: $3.00
3. Got drunk: $7.00
4. Went skinny dipping: $5.00
5. Kissed someone of the opposite sex: $5.00
6. Kissed someone of the same sex: $5.00
7. Cheated on a test: $2.00
8. Fell asleep in class: $0.50
9. Been expelled: $5.00
10. Been in a fist fight: $10.00
11. Given oral: $10.00
12. Got oral: $10.00
13. Prank called the cops: $3.00
14. Stole something: $2.00
15. Done drugs: $5.00
16. Dyed your hair: $0.50
17. Done something with someone older (like a few years): $3.00
18. Went out with someone OVER 18 (if your under 18): $4.00
19. Ate a whole thing of Oreos: $0.50
20. Cried yourself to sleep: $10.33
21. Said you love someone but didn't mean it: $1.00
22. Been in love: $4.00
23. Got caught doing something that you shouldn't have been doing: $1.00
24. Went streaking: $4.00
25. Got arrested: $5.00
26. Made out with someone: $20.00
27. Peed in the pool: $0.50
28. Played spin the bottle: $1.00
29. Done something you regret: $3.00
30. Done shots of tequila:$10.00

Now add up and post as 'I COST $..' if you do not repost you will have 5 years bad lucK

Now guess how much i cost??

Here's the answer: $112

How bout you? Think you're that innocent? Why don't you try this test?

Ok so i already started preparing for my trip on the 14th.. I know it's still too early.. Haha.. But i have to be super prepared because it's a freaking forest i'm going to!!!

One last thing to blog about which is school..

This term is specially slack.. I hate the modules and its freaking boring.. And my attendance is kinda bad i think.. I'm at a lost.. Seriously.. I got a feedback that i turned quiet after my accident which is kinda true.. I guess i knock my head to hard till i turned into someone different.. Haha.. But i'm trying to get back closer with my classmates and really bond with them.. I'm getting to know my other councillors better also.. I guess thats good.. As for work.. Nothing to say..

I think that's all for this post.. I'm just gonna bloghop since its been quite sometime since i did that.. Tomorrow, i'll be a better person..

I know i haven't been blogging for quite awhile but i really don't have the time to do so.. Today is a very special day.. I didn't go to work after school nor did i go out..

And guess what..

I feel like like caged lion!!! Gosh! I need to go out!

Maybe i feel this way because i am usually not around during this time.. I'll only be home at 12 - 6.. Somehow i feel bad treating my own home like a hotel.. Just coming home to sleep.. Not even talking to my parents or my siblings.. Ok i need to change.. Should include that into my resolution..

The reason why i am working extra hard is mainly to support my own lavish lifestyle and to help my fucking attraction because it is in dire straits.. I know some of you will say this :

"Come on lah its just a workplace for you to earn money. Why bother so much about it?"

And my reply will be this :

"I work yes for the money but also because i have a family down there who cares about me. They are not just some dumb colleague of mine who punch out on time after work. We face shit and shits together and we treat each other like brothers and sisters. We may have politics but they are not amongst our very own crews. Get that right through your heads! I love Songs Of The Sea Crews more that anything else."

That's all

Today is really what i need.. A day on my own without anyone to disturb me.. All that i can hear is the waves crashing and all that i can see is the blue sea with its horizon..

I'm at Tanjong beach now as i blog and i have everything i need.. I have my lunch to satisfy my hunger, my music to feed my ears and my one and only Tifa to keep me entertained.. I got my sunblock, my big bottle of Pokka green tea and a beach mat

Right now, i don't want to think of anything but just relax, relax and relax.. Whatever problems i shall settle it tomorrow.. It's not as if a day like today comes all the time..

Later in the evening, i shall head down to the gym followed by a jog around the three beaches in Sentosa.. I should be back to myself tomorrow all recharged and ready to go...

after we finished the course, we had to bring home all the balloons but we didn't want to so we decided to give most of it away to guest around Imbiah.. Of course we gave to kids only lah..

I guess thats about this post.. Quite a short one though.. Will be back with more pictures next time..

My life is really in a mess right now be it financially, emotionally, and physically.. But more to emotionally.. I really don't know what i want or what is happening.. I just feel that something is just pulling and bringing me down to the lowest point of my life..

I really feel that i'm alone when i'm not.. I really need to numb myself with something..

I shall ask myself this..

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