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Like what i told Ruby juz now, if that's the pathetic sad life that you want to lead with your "i love you so much" friends who adores you so much but as a matter of fact, they are just a bunch of spotlight hoggers then go ahead.. Well your life is ruined anyway.. You are basically in turmoil of almost everything.. So good luck! And just stop lying will you? Like seriously, i don't give a shit about what you are doing anymore.. I just pity your social life.. Poor you!

I went to Mr Francis house juz now for Christmas Dinner.. But being lazy as you all know me, i am juz too lazy to steal the pictures from eezann's multiply.. So just view them yourselves alright? Besides, i came later during the dinner as i was from work so i wasn't really in the camwhoring sessions though..

http://ezanny.multiply.com

And Abang Halim keys in his password for facebook as "facebook".. Gosh he must really be tired..

Ok i found this application at Facebook.. It's called SUCK MY LOLLIPOP.. So if you were to receive this invitation from me that goes:

Hazlan has invited you to suck his lollipop.. Will you suck his lollipop?

Yes.

That is what you should click and have a good laugh after that.. Well i did..

Ouh and you can only suck your friends lollipop after every hour.. So you need to give an hour interval for your mouth to rest before you can start sucking again..

I hate my previous post because it isn't my style of entries.. It feels very slipshod-ish and crappy.. Probably because i haven't been blogging for quite awhile and suddenly people have been coming up to me and said "Can you like update your blog Hazlan? It's like so dead!" and stuff like that so i have no choice but to do a rushed entry..

But anyway, that's not my point.. I am here now to do another long entry (hopefully) and i came with pictures just like Santa comes with all his presents! Credits to Syaz for the pictures..



so that i won't forget, i shall list down what to blog about..

1. Work
2. School
3. Friends

I think that should be enough..

Firstly, work.. I've been working at IOS for a couple of days already.. Been fun throughout with the fun and gerek people like Georgia, Sherri, Isaac, Ershad and myself.. Especially Ershad and Isaac.. If the three of us were to be rostered together on that day, i won't be surprised if Ios were to collapse.. Ok dying to do my first show! It will be at 31st December 2008.. So do come down and support me and ershad aites! Woohoo!!!!

Next. School

I went for SC meeting today and it was kinda fun to see my schoolmates back after not being in school for like how many days already.. And i badly miss my classmates like Ezann, Mira, Inda, Lulu, and many more.. I don;t miss ahmad, jena and ruby becoz i still see them lingering around the island..

Lastly, friends..

I miss you Anna & Raudha & Amalina & Leha & Ash! Quality time please!!! Ok thats it! I'. so making time for you guys! We need to bitch soon aites..

Waiting for syaz to pass me pictures...

And now skype-ing with syaz and abang halim.. (Thats my routine for at night nowadays)

And i'm finally not broke! I got my pay alas! All i need to do now is to bank in the cheque tomorrow morning..

Finally, after weeks of training under the hot sun, getting all severely tanned, running here and there practicing hard for the rehearsal, its finally over.. I feel like a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders.. And we showed it off during assessment.. I think we did great.. We kinda improve gradually over the 3 days.. It was a pleasure performing with them especially Ershad my buddy who was beside me all along as i journey through this new and challenging path..

Right now, all i need to do now is to work hard and save up for something coming up next year..

Ok seriously, i'm fucking exhausted from rehearsal since last saturday till tuesday followed by ios + assessment from wednesday till today.. Tomorrow's my day off and i shall sleep like a pig.. And go out with Syaz & Abang..

Also, a big big gratitute to those who watched the show eventhough it was kinda late and stuff like that but yeah.. I would like to thank you guyz for all your support and your good luck wishes.. Later i get pay i blanja you guys ok?

This day happened before and it happened again.. The day i am left alone.. I knew this day was coming and i actually had a backup plan but the plan itself backfires. So right now i am at home at 9.17 pm blogging like a normal typical teenager.. Ugh.. I so need a cigarette right now.. I shall have a smoke later..

I can't wait to enter ops room tomorrow because i have rehearsal and see all the drunk people lying on the floor like a sack of rice.. Worst! I better not see abang halim drunk till he can't even recognize me.. I am so going to smack him with a barricade if he does that..

Here are pictures that eezann owe me..



Firstly, sorry syaz and abang for falling asleep on you guys last night.. Syaz, i think the movie made me sleepy.. I somehow was watching My Best Friend's Wedding on youtube.. I put my Tifa on my bed and i leaned on the wall beside my bed.. (I wasn't on the bed) So just imagine my position when i fell asleep.. But abang too fell asleep.. At least got khaki.. Hehe..

Today was my 2nd time doing IOS and its kind of boring yet fun at certain times.. I just love my lunch break and breaks.. Hazima was nice to me by extending my half hour break to 45 mins so i went to sleep.. But i overslept.. Haha.. Sorry Haz.. But luckily ershad was there too so the whole day wasn't that boring.. But because oh him, i always get into trouble.. We would do kantoi stuff together.. Haha.. Siol!

Oh and i just learn how to convert videos from youtube to mp3 format using Zamzar.. Cool or what! Now i know how to get the "hard to get songs".. Thanx Syaz for teaching me..

Lastly, i've just change my favourite video and song at my blog.. You guys can check it out and the orange bars..

Abang Lobster!!!

I am pissed because i lost my mugwomp.. Oh mugwomp is my tiny voodoo doll that was found by Raudha at gallery one fine day.. I kept mugwomp as a keychain for my handphone and now is somehow left me.. I bet you guys would probably be thinking "Why name your voodoo doll mugwomp?" Well for a start, mugwomp is an ugly name and my voodoo doll has no eyeball on its left eye and its eye socket is dangling.. Thus the name!

Well in life, sometimes when you grow attached to something or someone, like mugwomp, they just tend to drift away or lose you.. Well that's part and parcel of life.. We all have to live with it..

Well anyway i think mugwomp is a jinx to me because ever since i got hold of him, i have been losing my belongings.. We'll see whether my luck will change..

Yeah i finally got some pictures to liven up my blog a little instead of just words.. Anyway, here are the overdued pictures on board Doulos with Abang Halim.. Since there were just two of us and no one to snap the pics gor us, i have to edit it a little..


Holidays are here! But my project is still pending.. Haix.. What a poop! Fun sucker! So i'm blogging now at 4.30 am waiting for abang to finish his file transfer..But i don't mind not sleeping.. Himself and syaz are keeping me company through the night..

Ok i know this sounds silly.. I'm sure some of you have seen my white topman hoodie (courtesy of Ershad who gave it to me willingly). Well i decided to wash and bleach it today because its has gotten some minor stains so i did.. But i put a little too much softener and now it smells too wonderful and perfumed. To the extent that i am drying it now in my room and my room stinks of the fragrance. I bet it could even deodorize my whole neighbourhood if i were to put it out to dry..

Ok i think i'm turning in.. Have to wake p eatly tomorrow to go swimming with Abang..

The test itself is like less than 8 hours and i am so not prepared.. Seriously, i'm in a hell of a trouble fro tomorrow.. I am so close to skipping school which i know would be impossible.. All i can do now is to study as much as i can for tonight.. Probably don't sleep at all and just cross my fingers..

Today, one of my colleague, stephanie, gave me this piece of advice which i posted a note in facebook.

Hazlan, you cannot be easily influenced especially at this age. People you come to be so fond of will break your heart. Just take care of yourself and keep a part of your heart to love yourself alone.

It really made an impact in my life and i think this piece of advice will stay with me for quite some time. Thank you stephanie.. You are a wonderful woman.

When you desperately cry for help from the heavens, no one answered your prayers. We prayed together with and for you hoping for a miracle and finally our prayers was answered. A little angel with amazing powers came and restored the order of the place. But you abuse the angel now that she has made your life so much easier. Have you ever thought back about the past? Did you ever look back? I don't think so.

Please awake your senses my dear friend. You are my guidance in life. I think its time you think for yourself and not for the others. We need you back. They need you back. We all love you no matter what happens. Start to cherish the one aiding you all this while. Let not the devil distract you.

Ouh i got it all wrong for my staff party.. Firstly, it falls on the 29th so that means i can go.. Hehe.. Made a mistake at my 3rd post..

Today was quite a unique day at school.. I get to witness amazing things.. One was this girl who cheated the feelings of two guys and the 3 of them fought in front of me with Anna.. That was kind of interesting..

Second was about my class.. That i have nothing to say because i just find it childish to be a police case.. I hope that the police will give this expression of "Are you sure you want to press charges about this crap?" if it really happens.

Thirdly, i spent some time with my classmates today after school.. We went to IMM and chill for awhile..

Ok i just got news from someone.. And it makes my blood boil..

(Yahoo-ing now)

Mediator: A neutral party who assists in negotiation and conflict resolution, the process being known as mediation

Cool down and back to happy mode Hazlan..

Eezann! I need pictures! And abang Halim too! I need the pictures at the ship!

Ok seriously, eversince i quit Attraction Operations, i somehow feel that a burden has been lifted from my shoulders. Never in my life have i felt so free after school.. I don't feel the rush now.. I can go home and sleep or hang out and spent more time with my classmates and many more.. It's true i am enjoying my rehearsals with all the other artiste.. We have fun, we joke, we laugh..

But..

I feel that something is just missing.. The fun i have now is a different kind of fun.. All that i can do now is watch them from afar as they wear the X'mas hat with the brinjal uniform having fun on ground..

First thing first, i miss wearing that purple shirt, miss my nametag, miss my brown shoe which is still at dungeon, i miss having a walkie behind my back, miss having a earpiece on my ear, miss saying "OSCAR 1/2 COMING OVER" and the list can go on..

But then again, like one of my previous post, i have everyone that i need to walk with me..

I can't wait when you're broke.. We'll see who clings on to you.. Then you'll come to your realization that what you are having now is temporary happiness which you re buying.. Stop messing up people's life.. Get your own life and move on.. This is my advice to you.. Don't make me slap you one day because you have gone too far..

Bitching session done.

I just got back from grandparents house at Pasir ris which is actually my uncle's house but now he's a freeman.. As i expected, the comments that i will goes like this:

Aunties/Uncles: Eh eh Hazlan! Gelap nye! Kau buat ape? Asal sampai hangus/terbakar sampai mcm gini?

Translation: Eh eh Hazlan! So dark. What have you been up to? Why until so burnt and overcooked until like this?

My reply will be "training ar" but i would prefer my parents do the explanation.

So as the seniors were busy talking and planning for some makan trip to Johore which might falls on the 27th which happens to be staff party and i might have to forego it because family comes first, i was playing with Kimi & Hadi, (my two baby cozins) and when i got tired and bored of them, i slept at my grandma room till my family wanted to go home. So that's how i spent my Haji this year. Ouh and not forgetting the delicious food of coz...

I don't know what's wrong with me today but i just feel super tired and super hungry.. It's like as if i haven't slept for years and haven't eaten forever 21. I woke up at 11 this morning, went to my grandma's to eat and eat and eat and sleep. When i got home, i ate some more and now i'm blogging while listening to The Subways - With You. Afterwards, i'm gonna go to sleep. Unless someone calls or text me..

This week is going to be a very unique and special week for you and me.

Went for late dinner yesterday at this restaurant called Rubina at Sembawang.. Buy i didn't really had fun because i was having a headache which also killed my appetite so i didn't eat much.. After that, i spent the night at Ershad's house which is kinda cool.. I love his house.. Very quaint and cosy!

We woke up late the next day for rehearsal.. That was a bum.. Haha.. So i told shad this:

"Eh shad, since we are late, might as well be any later.. Let's go have breakfast first at Mac's.."

And he's reply was:

"Anything.. After that we cab down to the island.."

And i said ok.. So thats my little morning story.. We also had the cab driver who kept talking cock to us.. Haha.. We paid him $1 extra for his jokes..

Before i move on, i'll like to talk about my beloved class..

To my class:

To be honest, i love every single one of you guys.. Everyone plays a part to make up that 35 people in the class list.. All of you are unique and special in your own ways which makes the class unique and special too.. Yes some of us have our flaws but i guess we should just adapt to it.. I really hope to find peace and tranquility because we have a lot of events coming up together.. I'm putting lots of hopes to our upcoming class chalet.. I hope i won't be disappointed...

But to be frank, i am just very disappointed in some people.. Sometimes, lies will get you nowhere.. It's just heart wrenching to see alL this.. I'll tell you this first.. You will never have my trust in you ever.. No matter how much you try to earn it.. Just pray hard that the class will accept you guys back.. And Mr Francis, i feel that its better if you just leave it to us to handle the matter.. Either that or just leave it as it is because some things are better left alone and untouched.. If touched, you might cause the nature of things to be imbalance thus aggravating the situation.. This applies to the rest as well..

Now back to where i was..

I was a bit indecisive bout where to go after rehearsal today because firstly i thought of meeting abang halim but i found out that he's working Songs today and theres a third show.. So i didn't want to wait for him cause i want to be home early today as yesterday i didn't go home.. I'm sorry abang.. I hope you understand..

Anaa invited me to town but i hate going to town on saturday night.. The crowd just pisses me off.. I got a call form kak dee saying that she and my brother wanted to watch Songs so i guess i should just stayed around in the artiste room and watch them play twister.. Haha.. I got doughnuts from Kak Dee! Thanx kakak!!!

Buti ended up going to town instead so there i was..

I just finished my presentation and it was kinda bad actually.. The comment that we got was that some of us (which include me) seem like we didn't know our product.. But we scored high on our slides, graphics and many more.. It's just presentation skills here and there..

Now the other group is doing their presentation so here i am at the back of the class blogging..

I really feel that i've lost lots of people whom i really love.. It's either that we drift apart or someone stole that person away from me.. It just hurts to see him or her being snatched away from me and how i just want to kill and murder that son of a bitch.. Sometimes in life, we do have regrets but introducing you to my family was the greatest one and a huge mistake!

But to think again, i have all that i need to survive..

Firstly i have deela who have been my best friend since primary 5 and i think we never fought before.. I miss you deela.. Please meet up soon.. I don't even know what you are doing now.. I have Anna who is forever there for me.. I have raudha my 'girlfriend' who i know loves me a lot and i love you too baby.. I have ershad my brother who is walking beside me right now as i journey through a new path.. I have lyna whom i rarely sees her but yet she never fails to cheer me up together with Ash.. In school, i have Ezann & Mira and they are just what i need..Last but not least, i have abang Halim whom i really love a lot.. He just like a REAL brother to me.. I will forever remember what you said on 3rd December 2008, 8.30 pm at vivo skypark and remember my answer too..


These people are my pillars in life other than my family of course and if anyone ever does anything to them or harm them or hurt them in anyway way, i swear to god you will wish you that yoo will never be born.. I will make sure that you will suffer for as long as you are staying on Earth even if you are my best friend or close friend or whoever..

If your name is not mentioned, you should know that i have already lost you.. I'm sorry..

I was at Banquet at vivo Aat around noon when i receive this sudden SMS..

Abang Amir: What are you doing? Aren't you suppose to be in school?

Me: I finish school already..

Abang Amir: I see. Are you sure? Please behave yourself in school uniform.

Me: Ok.. So how'd you know i wasn't in school?

Abang Amir: You don't have to know how i find out or saw you outside. You can lie to me all the way till you get barred from exams or retake the whole module all over again then you can start telling me about it ok? If you don't want me to disturb your life, you can tell me and i can move on and act like there's nothing ever happen to you. Don't waste your time.

Basically, i didn't know how he found out that i didn't go to school today.. But i shall not waste my time trying to find out either.. Well to clear any misunderstanding, i went to have a check-up at the clinic today because my throat was getting worse.. It has been like that for 2 weeks already.. Probably due to dehydration and too much smoking..

But in anycase, i was wrong to lie to Abang Amir.. So sorry abang.. I won't do it next time.. Please continue to care for me..

Now moving on.. I reached home at around 4 because today, i want to show my face at home and also to clear any pending work.. I talk to my dad about work and stuff which is good lah.. Cause i've been wanting to have nice chat with him.. He was nicer this time round about his nagging.. Which i think i shall listen to him.. And start going home early..

Tomorrows payday.. I don't know what's the plan.. But i'll just follow.. Major presentation tomorrow morning.. Have to wake up early and prepare.. Already got ezann to check on me.. So yeah..

I'm really glad that we are friends back.. In actual fact, we have always been friends.. Sometimes friendship has ups and downs too right? Those are just one of the days.. I was harsh to you because i know we will get back together and jump this tiny hurdle together.. So yeah.. Once again, i'm sorry for not understanding from your point of view.. I love you and you know i do..

I'm sorry school for skipping you yesterday.. But i just can't help it that you are too darn boring.. So fuck it yeah! And sorry Ms deon for skipping your class today.. Sometimes in life, sacrifices have to be made to achieve your dreams and goals and that is just what i'm trying to do.. Don't worry.. I won't fail this module of yours..

I spent quality time with Abang Halim today.. He watch me rehearse for awhile because his main purpose for entering the island was to suntan but i prayed hard that sunny would go away because i don't want to be any darker.. So sorry abang..

We went out to vivo to window-shop and stuff.. And we got on board this amazing ship called Doulos (Did i get the name correct? ) which happens to be a bookstore.. Instead of looking at books, we were like camwhoring around the ship.. Haha.. I'll get the pictures soon.. If i don't, you can visit his blog which he will probably.. No.. He SHOULD post the pictures.. I'll make sure he does it..

It was like 8+ ish after the ship trip and so we slept at skypark.. Literally slept! I guess the both of us were too darn tired..

And to Abang Casperico, I really wonder how you going home with green tea all over your body.. Well since you love it so much, today is the day you really get to feel the green tea..

Well i'm off to sleep guys! My eyes are sore and i need to rest.. I'll see you soon..

I'm sorry if i hurt you in the text but i really was not myself today and i'm feeling very cranky.. Hope you forgive me..

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