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Credits: Anna Bte Jaroxy



Something terrible really happened at home.. It’s a catastrophe that has never struck us before and i am devastated by it.. My internet connection is down people! I can’t go online, check my facebook, update my blog or whatsoever shit that has got to do with the I word! How tough life can be without internet..Even my brothers are affected by it! Basically, all the 3 computers at home are down now.. Right now in my eyes, Tifa is just a piece of junk that gives out light to me.. She doesn’t do much..

Ouh and how i’m updating my blog you may ask? Well, this entry was pre-blogged using Microsoft words on 27th January 2009 at 11.57pm. I just save it so that when i will get internet connection somewhere at some cafe or something, i’ll just copy and paste it at blogger. So it’s like i’m blogging for the future kinda thing you see.. (I'm at Macs now at Hougang Mall.. Today's date is the 28th)

Ok during the CNY period, the first day was superbly tiring for me.. I was doing IOS the whole day on 26th Jan since morning and i had to do 3 shows at night.. Gosh i never felt this kind of fatigue in my life before.. I went home straightaway and had a good rest.. I had the whole bed to myself as my brother went for some camp at his school. The next day, i just did IOS till evening and went home as there’s school tomorrow.

Ok listen to this.. The CNY period was heart-wrenching for both me and Ershad.. We actually missed Attractions Operations! Watching them working R.U (Reserve Units) made us salivate and wished that we were still wearing our purple uniform with our nametags.. But only for these two days! I still love Talents and the artistes! We even went to the extent of saying that we would work for attractions for free on these two days if given the permission to do so...

Anyway, I went to Zouk few days back. Saturday to be exact on the 24th which was suppose to be my family’s bbq pit. But i kinda ditch that.. It was fun considering that that was my first legal virgin experience in a club.. Why i said legal is because i’ve been to clubs before i turned 18.. Its just that those were stupid sneak-ins, underage parties and lousy clubs which probably closed down now.. But Zouk was alright lah..
Ok all i need to do now is to

1. Grab pictures from Anna when we went to Zouk and post them..
2. Grab pictures form Ezann when we attended Service Conference at Dover and post them
3. Grab pictures from Anna (again) when we had supper at Newton and post them

I think that’s about all.. Will be back with those pictures!

P.S I need my internet connection back badly! Urgh!

I had a talked with Mira during one of our OTOT (own time own target) breaks and we went out to have a smoke. Pouring out my woes to her makes me feel better and i have lots of trust and faith in her. I have faith that we will still remain as who we are and stick to the status quo and won't distance ourself because of what i told her. To really have her as a friend is one that i will never regret. Cheers me up when i'm down and lend her ear when most needed. I love you mira and you know i do.

I really don't know how i landed into this situation and i want to get out of it. I'm scared that things might not turn out right. I'm just too scared to do anything right now but run away from it and just let time restore everything. I know running away won't solve anything but if i were to interfere, it would probably worsen the condition.

I really don't know how much longer i can hold on. I really need to break free from the chain and be myself again. But i'll always look back and that's when the chain will hook itself to my skin again. Like what i told Mira, just let time and nature takes its course.

Ok i am fucking broke! Can you believe it? I'm actually living off my parents? My pay is like taking fucking long to come and it better be a bomb.. If not, i'll flare like crazy! I'm like so obsessed with it that i actually check my bank account every hour online.. Hopefully some kind soul would actually transfer money to my acccount after hearing my desperate cry.. Haha.. Keep wishing Hazlan..

I went to the doctor this morning to check on my asthma and guess what? I got charge for adult consultation! Like what the fuck? Then i realised that i'm 18 and i wanted to make a big hoohaa at the payment counter but they blame me for not showing my student pass.. Well i guss it's my fault then..

I stayed home the whole day smoking my life away because i really am not myself this few days.. I just don't feel like doing anything at all except Tifa (Laptop).. Went bloghopping and i found pictures so being the thief that i am (hehe), i'll just rip some of them.. But of coz i'll crediit the pictures ok?



Thanks to people like Bapak because he and Zilin were talking non-stop about The Little Nonya during Clap & Cheer a few days back, it instigated my drive to actually watched the drama serial and I GOT HOOKED TO IT! I just started watching it today and i'm already at my 5th episodes.. Watching it at youtube by the way.. Bapak challenged me to finish the whole thing in less than a week.. He gave me the deadline which is this Friday and well i accepted the challenge and i guess i'll just have to go back home after school and Drama marathon at home everyday till Friday..

Moving on...

I had a talk with Mr Francis a few days back regarding my attendance in school and i came to a realization that i have to spend more time with my classmates.. My classmates have always been there for me but it's just me who's missing in the family portrait.. Therefore, i have come to a decision that i will be relieved of some of my duties and commitments in school.. To tell you the truth, after making that decision, i never felt lighter and free before.. I'll continue to spend more time with them in forever to come..

Moving on again..

I will still wait for you to give me an answer.. I have patience because i know it will pay off.. But one day, the river too will dry up similar to the hopes that i've pinned on you.. I have sacrificed a lot for you and i am exhausted.. I can't go on anymore.. It's time for me to rest.. Please grab my hand soon..

I'll be waiting for you..

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