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Loved NDP training today even though it was draining!

Ok so my story for today goes like this.. Took the new circle line to Bishan all the way to Choa Chu Kang to meet bapak and we cabbed to Kranji Camp III. Before that in the Bishan Circle line, there was an opening ceremony and the starts of Little Nyonya were there like Jeanette Aw and some of the guys lah which i do not know..

So reached Kranji camp at 1 and started rehearsing some new steps.. At about 3.30++ we headed to somewhere at Kranji to have a combined rehearsal with People's Association, combined choirs, some indian dance group, Ngee Ann Poly where i bumbed into Fauzana (Faiz sister) & Hidaya which i have not seen for ages! Haha.. I bumped into ash (my course mate and i didn't know that he's from Andika). Btw i'm in some volunteer group which i'm uncertain..

One most important thing was making new friends like Adeq, hilmi and also the kecho-ish p.a people like Kak Ana, Nurul, Ziq etc. etc. Haha can't wait for next rehearsal which is on the 13th and i need replacement for IOS on that day! Someone save me!

And bapak told me that i received feedback from Kak Iani (the kakak who managed to get me in at the very last minute) and abang Imran who choreographed the Dikir team.. Both of them commented that i was a fast learner.. i felt so relieved and jubilated upon hearing that and i didn't expect Abang Imran to say that because he is handling such a big group and i didn't expect him to notice me.. Ok good to know good to know..

After the whole event, i chilled out with the p.a ppl and went home with abang.. We explored the circle line before heading home.. bunch of 2 "jakuns" we were lah..

I got a china phone by Jag yesterday.. he totally gave it to me for free! Can you believe it? But i guess i know the reason why.. After using it for one day, i just couldn't stand it any longer and decided to use my old phone back..

Ok i'm done blogging because i'm pissed!

Yeah just came back from Bugis with the island gang.. We watched Night at the Museum 2.. It was freaking hilarious. The movie ended at about 2am.. So after that, we had a smoke and grabbed some tidbits from cheer and headed home.

What ended the part was kinda gross.. Leha showed us this video of this 2 bitches having sex.. Ok i'm fine with that.. I mean which guy doesn't watch porn right? And that's not all.. One of them shit-ed and these two girls was erotically enjoying the pile of crap! Just imagine it.. My vomit was at the brink of my throat! Yucks! It looked like mocha ice cream.. OK so don't buy mocha ice cream after reading this!

Ok and this is the scary part.. Anna, raudha, shafiiq and myself took the cab home together.. And guess what?? There were cockroaches inside the freaking four wheel! Omg one of the most disgusting thing moment in my life. A taxi laden with cockroaches.. I bet the driver thrives on them.. Prolly feed on them.. Urgh.. And the deal was to go yishun first and sent the girls off which means i'm the last... But i guess the driver went the wrong way and ended up at Hougang instead.. Haha.. Sorry girls! I guess the driver feel my pain more than you guys! And thanx shafiiq for being the hero.. As always.. I know what you guys think! What kind of man am i? I'll tell you.. The one who is afraid of roaches!

Alright! NDP training tomorrow! Gotta turn in early and rest.. Damn! Choa Chu Kang is freaking far lah from Hougang.. Zzzz

Finally i have the energy to blog! Wanted to blog yesterday but was feeling to exhausted. What causes my fatigue you may ask? Well i took part in passion run on sunday. A marathon which i had to run 15km. It was in fact the longest marathon that i took part so far. I guess i didn't stretch properly and that as a result caused my body to ache like fuck.

I'll upload photos once i get the pictures from abang..

Yeah so today i had to force myself to go to school and i realised the way i walked was as if i got fucked in the back.. I was somewhat limping because my leg muscle were so strained..

Roughly 2 days ago, i went to Aini's b'day party before work.. Oh gosh i love the food lah! BUt being myself (a himbo), you see i kinda did something stupid. Firstly, i saw spaghetti and i happily scoop it.. Then i say a red sauce and i happily pour over the spaghetti not realising that that is chilli sauce.. I only realised that what i poured was chilli sauce until i stumbled upon the real spaghetti sauce.. I even took 3 full scoops of that chilli sauce lah..

So i just suffered silently eating a spice noodle..

That wasn't it. I saw this white soup which i thought it was cream of mushroom and i scoop it and tried it only to realise today when aini told me that that was meant for the spaghetti. It's a spaghetti sauce also..

And that was my blonde moment at Aini's b'day party.

I guess my finger's itching to kiss the keyboard which is why i'm blogging but not having any idea on what to blog about.

Just finish watching Mean Girls. I can never get tired of watching that movie. And it somehow reminds me of what is happening in real life.

The first half of 2009 has really been a challenging year for me. I've learn a lot from people around me and from the hurdles i've cross through. I've decided to spend the whole day today reflecting on myself and possibly changing myself to be a better person. I really wish to start the 2nd half of 2009 with a new note. My vacation in june will be a great kickstart to it before i start school in July.

I've made a pact to concentrate on my studies in July and massively cut some slack in work. And it has already begun. I'm beginning to focus on my studies and studying hard for my upcoming test considering the fact that i'm the only person who failed the previous elective test which was quite a rude awakening form me.

Also, it's time for me to turn in early so that i can wake up in time for school the next day. I've had enough of coming late and skipping school already.

Passion run is just around the corner and i've not yet trained or even jog a little. I don't know whether i can survive the 15km..

After hearing about what's been happening around at work, even if it doesn't concern me, i should just avoid listening to it. Because when i do, it simply forms impressions of that person whom is the talk of the town. And i do not want to be judgemental.

Whatever happened in the past has already happened. And i won't look back and harp at it. Instead, i'll just look straight and keep moving on. Whoever that still wishes to "bitch" about me, go ahead. I simply do not care. If it makes your life happier, than by all means. If you think it's fact for you, go ahead. Life is short. I do not want to make enemies. That is why i still call him a friend sri.

And to you my working colleague, if you think what you've been doing is part of your job, then do it. I simply work to meet my friends and to earn money. Just don't disturb my rice bowl and i'm fine with you. If i turn devious and do what you did, then i'm just like you which i never foresee myself as.

My resume is under process. It's time i move ahead and start life new. I've held on to the island life far too long. The only thing that is keeping me from leaving is those wonderful friends that i made so far. One by one, everybody is leaving. I've stop making new friends because i'm tired and because i'm tired of seeing people go. Close to two years. Will i ever let go?

And i ask myself,

Have i surrender?

My answer...

I think i have.

And i know i'm stupid.

But so is everyone else.





Life means more than anything in this world to me and i would do anything within my means if i could save a life. I would pay for someones operation if they need the money. I would donate my organs if they need it more than i do. I would pump as much blood to them if they have not enough. Just to save a life.

Days goes by and one news after another.

I wish you'll get well soon Ef..

I've decided to take a step back from my current life.. I'll stop trying and whatever things comes along, i'll just play along.. I'm very very exhausted and i wish to rest.. Good night.

Ok i have pictures to upload! Hooraaayyy!

I miss performing! It's been a while since i performed thoug.. This picture was taken when i was doing show! Haha! I know! Jackass right? Yeah i brought my phone along while performing.. Hope Hazimah doesn't find out about this.. I'll probably get a tongue lashing!
This is the GMAX and GSWING. Took this picture when Jahan and I chilled at Clarke Quay.. It was kinda fun.. She has most of the pictures and it was uploaded on facebook. YOu guys can check it out.. I'm kinda lazy to upload it here.. This picture was taken at Takashimaya with Bunz.. Ok i know both pictures is rotated but i'm kinda alzy to fix it.. So the both of us were at the toy section when we cam across this display. And i was like "Hey! This can depict our little big family.. The one sitting like the king is Daddy!" And bun2 added "Yeah and the one sitting on the toilet bowl is abang! Because he likes to shit alot " And the both of us laugh out loud. The end.
Tomorrow is my presentation for my H.I.S. Can't wait to present because i think i really put a lot of effort in it halfway till i lost my zest. But still, i'm gearing to perform. Thank you pot for the blank disk.

After 6 month being in artiste, i realised that my body is there but my heart isn't. I still love attractions operations more than anything. The only thing stopping me is just the pay. At this age, i want to enjoy life to the fullest. I've never held quite a huge sum of money. I know i sound like a greedy pic think only on money and i know money can't buy happiness. But i believe money is a form of bridge to happiness. I want to go on a holiday and take my scuba diving course with my friends and that cost money and if course the happiness comes from my friends when we are there.

So right now, i'm studying real hard for my guided tour which hopefully might happen because i strongly believe that that is my passage to being an attraction host again. It's a complicated thinking of mine but you'll find out one day.

An attraction host is someone who gets up and leaves everyone behind. I believe that's meant for me...

Got my blogskin changed! Looks better now.. It also gives me the motivation to blog.

Alright school is pretty normal for me today. Nothing special nothing cool. And i had to take a cab to school form Clementi because it was pouring! I'll be submitting my H.I.S (Hospitality IT System) project tomorrow which is way overdue! I really don't know what Elvin is gonna say.

I headed home straight after school today which you'll rarely hear.. I know right! You guys can go buy 4D. So anyway, i felt that i had so much time in my hands that i went to clean out my wardrobe and refolded my clothes. Decided to throw some old and fugly clothes to the Karang Guni man. I also cleaned a bit of my room which is like a pig sty. My mum has been nagging saying "Bilik kau takde rupe bilik terus macam kucing beranak! (Your room doesn't resemble a room. More like where a cat gave birth!)

School starts at 11 tomorrow and i don't feel like going to school. Again, nothing new. Since when Hazlan wants to go to school right? But i know i have to because i just receive a warning letter from my lecturer stating that my attendance is poor. All my other classmates got an email instead but i'm the only one who got a letter handwritten, sealed and sent. Of course my dad hit the roof upon seeing that cursed paper. And comes his favourite hobby: Lecture

I really am hoping for someone to call me and ask for replacement because my next working day is Friday and i need to work to earn money! I'm going on a holiday for crying out loud! And my mum pestered me to buy for her a handbag but my brother came to the rescue and gave her money instead to buy that bag.

I would like to thank Bunz for buying me a new wallet and a pouch for my external hard drive. She got $250 Takashimaya voucher to spend on and she bought a keychain from Germany for Daddy and a handbag for Mummy and also a laptop bag for Abang.

And i just got news that abang is running a fever which is rare because he's like the ironman. (And sometimes he thinks he's ironman) Let's just hope that it's not Swine Flu because i just went out with him yesterday and i might be at risk.

Ok i've gotta finish up my projects and study for my P.I.C (Principle of International Commerce) test tomrrow. I'll be back with more updates!

It started out last night when i got my moodswing until i brought it to school.. That's when i realise i have friends who shows care and concern like Mira, shen-mo, Zaki, ezann etc.. Anyway, i skipped PIC because i really couldnt concentrate in class.. My mind kep wandering elsewhere always thinking about something.. Besides, i'm working today and i didn't bring my crumpler which has everything so i went home to get changed and all..

I really think that i'm being too concerned and caring. And it's very dangerous.. I really should firstly cool myself down, forget one thing at a time as i really have alot in my mind. I should take things easy and really mind my own business.

So i went out with Bunz and we watched Wolverine.. The movie's good but i kinda hate the graphics.. After that, we headed to alleybar and grab some drinks to kill time before heading home.. Gosh.. The frozen margarita is lethal!

I think i really have been missing a lot of people this couple of days.. Firstly, my far far far away friend miles away from where i am.. You know who you are.. Come back come back!!! I miss Sri Wahyuni! Ok i still want that sakae treat from you! You'd better read this! I also do miss Daddy Amirrudin Casperico Ali! It seems i only see him like once a week nowadays.. And i've been having these bad dream about him scolding me or something.. Is that a sign???

Someone's been hate tagging Mira's blog.. And i'm a little upset with that but i know mira.. She can totally handle it.. You should go see her blog.. See how this "dunno" girl makes a damn bloody fool of herself.. Very very pathetic.. I feel like donating 5cents to her.

I kept reflecting on myself. Do i have this disability of not seeing through your kind acts? That i find what you've been doing disgusting and just makes me feel how stupid you are? Or am i stating a fact that you are just being so stupid.

Time is really running out and the zest is dying. I guess my wish on the stick won't be granted.

I guess i'll be getting ready for work already..

I guess it's been a long and i've forgotten what it feels. And i'm still can't let go of the fact that i've kept to my motto. I really don't know whether i should do this. Commitment is still my biggest fear and i'm really afraid. Still there's just too much thats stopping me from going for it. I don't even know if its for real. But life's about risk and there's no fun without any challenges. We'll see how it goes for me.

It pains me to hear you already talking about death. I know you've been suffering for more than a year but don't forget that if you leave, you're friends and family are the ones who will get hurt the most. You have to really fight it and be strong. It's just an obstacle that god have sent down for you to overcome. I believe you will see through it and i have faith in you. It pains me that i know about it and have to keep quiet and pretend that you are fine. When i heard about it, my whole body shook and i just froze. It never occur to me that such things can happen to my own circle of family. I want to hug you and tell you that i really love you so much. And i really do. Please stay strong and stay happy!

And i finally know where i belong.

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