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I guess it's been a long and i've forgotten what it feels. And i'm still can't let go of the fact that i've kept to my motto. I really don't know whether i should do this. Commitment is still my biggest fear and i'm really afraid. Still there's just too much thats stopping me from going for it. I don't even know if its for real. But life's about risk and there's no fun without any challenges. We'll see how it goes for me.

It pains me to hear you already talking about death. I know you've been suffering for more than a year but don't forget that if you leave, you're friends and family are the ones who will get hurt the most. You have to really fight it and be strong. It's just an obstacle that god have sent down for you to overcome. I believe you will see through it and i have faith in you. It pains me that i know about it and have to keep quiet and pretend that you are fine. When i heard about it, my whole body shook and i just froze. It never occur to me that such things can happen to my own circle of family. I want to hug you and tell you that i really love you so much. And i really do. Please stay strong and stay happy!

And i finally know where i belong.

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