A 18 Year Old Story

2011-07-22T23:51:00.002+08:00

I really need to blog.

Been tweeting but i realised that twitter can only accommodate that much amount of words.

Thus the revival of criminal poet.

After putting much thought and consideration, i've finally came to a decision and have come up with a solution. Things are definitely gonna the the way they were. Nothing's gonna change except for one thing.

What happened was merely Karma. Yes it hit me right back and it hurts. But i'm gonna turn the wheel back.

Our lives has too much connections for me to just walk away and being a coward won't solve things. I'm slowly gonna untangle our intricately intertwined lives so that one day, i can lead my life ahead without looking back and saying 'i miss you'

Move on.

2011-01-03T00:02:00.000+08:00

Travel Blog under construction..

When your pocket has a big fucking hole!

2010-04-03T10:51:00.002+08:00

I'm sure everyone has face this before.. FINANCIALLY DOWN! Urgh.

This period has been the worst week of my life.. I have my bills to pay.. I have my d-lessons to pay.. I owe my younger brother (how useless an older brother can be borrowing from his younger brother) money.. I owe my mom money..

I spent my last few ditz on the Batam Cable ski trip.. That trip was terrific though.. Managed to pull off some stunts.. Yupp.. So that's where my last few cents went to..

And to top it off, my hotel pay is delayed till another 2 weeks time.. Keep the blows coming because i've declared this week the worst week of my life.. (Finincially)

And i'm jobless!

Ok well not really..

Nak harapkan SOS is strinctly insufficient for my everyday wants and needs.. I need a day job lah! And High achievers has not even called or emailed me about any camps at all! I'm like so shit-out by it right now..

And i seriously gotta stop buying ciggarettes.. My number one enemy which attacks my weakest point.. My wallet!

2010-03-22T00:49:00.002+08:00

I'm ready to submit myself to loneliness.

And why didn't i ask myself earlier.

That am i happy being the third party.

Well i just realised that i won't and never will taste true happiness.

And that concludes it.

Love & Hate

2010-03-19T01:41:00.002+08:00

I stumbled across one of my friend's word press and one of his entry/ quote really hits me..

It's sad when people you know becomes people you knew.

And it's sad when people change to become someone you don't even know.

A new beginning.. So what do i begin with?

2010-03-16T01:00:00.008+08:00

The day day has finally come.. The day where my 6 month of horror, terror, stress, laughter, joy, sweat and tears has ended.. Cleared my locker without any hesitant and left to meet Syaz & Abang for chinese supper..

And so what do i do now?

I just got a job with High Achievers as a camp facilitator.. Yeap.. I'm gonna facilitate those babies and spending 3 days with them.. It was hard finding the place and i was 30 MINUTES LATE FOR MY INTERVIEW!!! That has never happened in m ylife.. And to top it all, it had to rain at Clarke Quay..

Met raudha baby up with her bf shafiiq and we had dinner at Cahaya followed by dessert at Dunkin Donuts.. And we're going rock climbing tomorrow! Yippeee! It's been centuries since we hang out and how i wish Anna could stay longer.. Haix.. Couples..

Sometime ago, ezann & me headed to Harry's Bar @ Chijmes for some drinks.. These are the outdated pics.. An expensive night to remember and i was itching to dance..

And now a cup of hot milo before i sleep..

4 more days to awesomeness non stop!

2010-03-10T02:18:00.002+08:00

Woohoo! 4 more days till the end of my attachment.. Haha never in my life have i wanted something to end this badly.. I'm gonna miss you Carlton.. NOT! Haha who's having the last laugh now..

Ok enough of the laughter.. Just came back from Batam a few days back and my body is still aching after 3 days.. Let's see.. Went on a massive rollercoaster ride over the past days.. Clubbing @ Nova (A Club hidden somewhere in Clarke Quay) on friday night.. Headed to Batam on that Saturday morning.. Came back at night and headed for work as i was midnight shift.. And finally got to rest on that Sunday morning till night..

Purpose for going to Batam was to learn how to cable-ski which was freaking fantabulous.. Will be back soon for more body aching routine.. Didn't really take pictures as i left my camera in Syaz's bag the night before when we clubbed..

Stuck at Communications department for five days starting from yesterday.. So far so good..

Ooh and i need to post up S'pore flyers pics!

2010-02-26T13:35:00.002+08:00

Countdown till end of attachment: 13 working days excluding my off days.

So let me describe you my "office".. I have all the equipments and stationaries around me.. I have a tv on the top right shelve behind me should i need to relax my eyes after staring at the computer for long hours.. You need to look far to promote healthy eysight so the tv is something far for me and its like 2 metres away from me.. And like any other bosses, i have two chairs infront of my table waiting for people to be interviewed by me..

There are 3 other cubicles in this big office of mine.. One belongs to SH Tours where someone is stationed there to talk on the phone for the whole day.. The other belongs to the Front Office Secretary, Yati, who use to have a boss but she got terminated because the tigress of the department killed her. And her cubicle is beside Yati's. So the cubicle's empty now.. Yati's cubicle is like a kitchen. You can last for days inside there without getting hungry.. There's always something to eat and drink in there.

Yours truly,
Muhammad Hazlan
Director of Business Center

You can say that i'm bored.. Which is the exact reason why i'm typing nonsense.. Ok i've been eyeing this movie which is gonna be released soon on thetres.. Here's the trailer:

I think i will love the movie.. Ok who wants to watch it with me???

I have 1 more hour till i end work and i practically have nothing to do.. Oh i totally forgot about the twisties ezann bought for me yesterday.. Thank you ezann! Hold on tight ok.. It's all gonna end soon.. Real real soon.. Don't gloom too much over work.. Later hayley williams won't notice you at the concert.. Looking forward to tomorrow night.. And better ask Danny to teach you how to play left 4 dead soon.. Because i'm dying to play it with you!

We are the World by various Artistes

2010-02-25T09:32:00.004+08:00

Listen to these.. It will touch your hearts

But it's very funny how Justin Bieber started the song.. What i meant was that the he way sings wasn't funy but usually when it comes to videos that are dedicated to some apocalypse, some big shot veteran stars would "open" the song first like Celine Dion or Nicole Sherzinger or even Fergie.. But iguess they want something new..

Left 4 Dead 2!!!

2010-02-23T10:52:00.002+08:00

This is real bad.. Real real bad.. I'm actually addicted to Left 4 Dead 2!!!

It all started with chanel! She infected us all with the disease. Now, all the SOTS Artiste are like hooked to it.. Well almost all of us though..

Can't wait for the next session.. Played it twice already. One was last Saturday night till 4am.. Only Danny stuck with me throughout.. Next was last Sunday till 2am.. Ryd was there too.. He was the one who suggested playing it that night..

I think the next session will be wednesday when it's payday! Woohoo can't wait!

Moving on...

And so i have actually changed my blogskin as promised by my previous post.. Still doing some touching up here and there.. Sifted out all those dead links and those are all that are "somewhat alive" links..

It's freaking cold here at business centre even after turning up the heat.. I need a cigarette badly right now and some fresh air.. Haven't had my lunch though.. Think i'll have it at 12.

Sad to be working after a three day break.. But it's a new start this week. I'm no longer attached to reception.. I'm running the business centre now and i get to use the computer all day long.. I've already helped 3 guest internet-check-in their flights eventhough had a problem.. But everything can be solved as long as i'm around! Hahahaha...

Now what's scaring me now hat i'm not feeling scared at all that tomorrow is gonna be a scary day for an unscared person like me.. You see, i have to submit a 5000 words report on my attachment and a 5 minutes presentation tomorrow and i have not yet touch a single thing! But no worries.. I'll figure something out. I always do and gets away with things..

You know what? I really can't stand the cold so imma go have a ciggy and ma lunch coz ma stomach's grumblin and i'm outta here!

Before that, watch this Singaporeans! It's freaking hilarious! So boomz!

2010-01-14T04:37:00.003+08:00

It's 4.36am in the morning and here i am blogging my second entry for the day.. Can you belive it?? Well the reason why i'm blogging is not because i can't sleep but because i am freaking bored at work! Yes! I'm at work now midnight shifting! Starting to hate graveyard shift because there simply nothing to do..

Ok guys i promise to upload photos for my next entry.. Yeah i know.. My blog looks dead..

There is gonna be a few changes to my blog.. Since it's 2010, i shal first:

Change my blogskin

List down my 100 Unrealistic Wishes & Wants Edition 2

Blog about my trip to Redang last year complete with photos

These three items are a must must for me!

Yawns*

Freaking sleepy but what to do.. I still have 2 more hours to go till i finish my shift.. Gotta head home straight and sleep till afternoon.. It's my off day tomorrow! So i shall sleep less and go out more before the day goes to waste..

This is what i got for my birthday! Cool or what!

I know it's not a DSLR or some cool shit digicam but it' my birthday gift from my friends.. So i shall treasure it! Bought my my beloved Abang, Syaz, Aisyah, Aisyah, Nazrul & Yiling!

Time to blow the candle again..

2010-01-14T04:06:00.003+08:00

And so my 19th brithday just passed 3 days ago.. I still can't believe that i'm 19.. It seems that age is catching up on me.. Haha..

I didn't asked for much for my birthday though.. Besides, it's just my 19th birthday.. I still have like tons more birthdays in future (if i can get to live that long).. I kinda got what i wished for which is to spent time with my friends.. Though my birthday falls on a Monday, Syaz decided to push back the celebration on the saturday night instead..

So on that saturday night, Abang, Syaz, Nazrul & Aisyah came down to Syaz's house at Serangoon.. We had a mini barbecue and spent the whole night there till morning.. And the best part is they bought me a new camera! Woohoo! Now i can take lots and lots of pictures! And the best part is, i can post them up to my blog!

I really enjoyed it because it has been a long time since the 5 of us hang out together.. Everyone's been busy with work and all and i'm exceptionally busy with my attachment.. So i got my birthday wish although i wished that more could come..

I would like to say a big thank you to everyone who was part of the birthday gift.. Abang, Aisyah CJ, Aishah, Nazrul & Yiling.. And the one that made it happened, Syaz.. Thank you so much for doing something special for me..

And thank you to my future sister in law and my brother for dropping the birthday present at my hotel's concierge! I love it..

And so i'm 19 now..

Can you belive it?

Well i can't..

I guess i should grow up.. Because ever since i came in to Sentosa 2 years ago.. I started to meet wonderful people.. People who cared for me.. People who pampered me.. People who would spoonfeed me.. People who thought me to love other people and to cherish my friends.. People who thought me to learn from my mistakes.. And amongst these people, there are people who also won't forgive me for my mistakes, people whom have changed towards me..

Until now, i'm still waiting for someone whom have yet to wish me happy birthday.. I guess i've hurt him too much till i'm that insignificant to his life..

Eventhough there wasn't a candle on top of a birthday cake for me to make a wish and blow it off, in my heart, my wish has been made..

I wish for to be forgiven for my mistakes which i've done in the past and i hope to be part of your life once again to those whom i've hurt and inflict pain on.

Because i still want to be treated like a young kid.. To be loved, cared and pampered by my big brothers and sisters..

Honestly, i hate growing up..

A new year.

2010-01-04T04:24:00.002+08:00

It's 2010..

Yeah can you belive how fast time flies? Neither can i..

Well i am really hoping for a good start this year.

And i'm not just gonna hope but work at it as well..

It all started with Siloso Beach Party.. Didn't really did much partying but more to drinking and getting drunk.. But i've reconciled with my loved ones and that's all that i've been wanting to do. At the time when you feel like dying, that's when your true friends appear to keep you warm and be by your side.

I'm looking forward to end my attachment.. Come to think about it, i have less than 3 more month to go and i know it's gonna past real fast. Can't wait for all the graduation parties and chalets.

About my resolution, i have it in my mind and i'm not going to announce it to the whole world because i don't want anyone to critize me should i go back against my resloution. There's not much but i'll probably remember them.

I understand and i can foresee that this year is going to be different than last year. The wheels have turned and i've seen the changes.. Felt them too.. I'm just gonna lay back and let nature take it's course.

I just want to say thank you to all my friends and families, brothers and sisters for taking care of me. I hope you will still do..

Goodbye 2009...

2009-12-30T03:01:00.004+08:00

I'm gonna sum up what's been happening or what has happened for 2009 in this post.

Started off this year wonderfully. I gained new friends last year whom are now very close to my heart.. I gained a new brother and at the same time lost one too..

Also left my attractions family for a better life in artiste which was a challenge to me because i was cast upon as a "traitor" to some.. Well at the end of the day, i'm leading a better life.. It was painful for me too to leave some of my friends..

School was abit non-existence for me as i didn't turn up for much of my classes and of cause i flunk my exam which was a total regret for me.. But i'll never forget my wonderful classmates and how funny, bitchy, sexy and dearest to me..

What i remembered the most about this year was my Bangkok & Redang trip. That was seriously an awakening for me to see how beautiful the world is out there and it motivates me to travel more.. My dream is to travel to the most beautiful natural places on Earth such as Mt Everest, Maldives and a lot more places that i can't think of right now.. And from that trip, i learned a new skill which is Scuba Diving! An expensive yet amazing sport which i'll never forget and hope to dive more..

Attachment shook and woke everyone up.. It was a tough decision to choose a hotel after getting a few offers.. I had to really decide carefully in which i feel that i've made the wrong choice but i'll still stick through it till the end unlike one of my friend who actually gave up halfway..

I witness a few losses of lives these year which made me treasure my family more.. I guess i'm more filial to my parents now and bersyukur (thankful) to Allah for giving me a complete family. I'll promise to treasure my family more.

I guess i 've done enough partying this year. It's time i lead a laid back life for 2010. 2009 was seriously a hell of an experience for me. I learned alot from every single moment that happened and i think it made me stronger and i am what i am because of everything.

A list of what i learned...

To know who your true friends are in times of need.
To appreciate every single moment and experience as a learning point
To learn from my mistakes

I would just like to say that i'm gonna put whatever that has happened in 2009 behind and lead a new life. I'm not gonna think about 2009 because to me, it's been a rough year. Neither am i going to forget what that can never be forgotten, forgive what that can never be forgiven and look back. Instead, i'm going to start a new and fresh life for 2010. I'm turning 19 this year and its high time i think for my future.

2009-12-18T02:00:00.002+08:00

Can you believe how free and bored i am at work that i can actually blog??? Haha

Watched Avatar trailer and guess what? I am so loving that movie that i shall watch it.. When i get my pay.. Thinking of watching it on Monday but have yet to make further plans.. Shall drag a few of my friends along..

Today's my third midnight shift and i have three more to go.. The next three will be a blast because Ezann Lovato Adam is working with me!!! Can't wait!!

I realised that i've been wasting my day sleeping at home when i could have gone out. Therefore, i've decided to go donate blood tomorrow before i start work at SOS followed by Carlton. Hope i don't get woozy from the insufficient blood in my body. Sorry Abang that i'm donating blood without you. By the time you have the time for me, i've have already puked blood because of too much blood in my system. (Like as if such things exist)

Looking forward for Siloso Beach Party this coming New Year's eve... I love beach parties.. Partying at the beach is so much different than in clubs.. You get to roam around to different arenas for different genres of songs and there is never lack of space for you to dance.. Plus since it's like an annuan thing, chances of you meeting you friends there are pretty high.. That's what i love.. Such a reunion and a gathering...

It's 2am in the morning and i have 5 more hours to go.. What can i possibly do in 5 hours? Facebook? Blog? MSN? Done that! Urrgghh! Time is flying super slowly right now..

And guess what? There was a delay flight just now from XXXXXX airlines because apparently, their engine caught fire and all of the passengers had to check in to our hotel. All 100+ of them.. Happening siol! Most of the passengers were very nice though even after a long flight.. And they quickly rushed to the cafe for supper because they were famished.. Did the airline starved them?? Precisely why i didn't named the airline..

Alright i guess i'd better get back to work.. (What work???) Haha.. See ya in a while..

2009-12-15T03:30:00.003+08:00

I just realised that the year is coming to an end soon and i need to get my resolutions ready by the end of these month and hope to accomplish it because it seems that people write down their resolutions but never work on it. I'll try my best to accomplish at least three of it.

Once i'm done with my resolutions, i shall post it up.

The road to education for me is soon coming to an end now that i thought about it. I'm left with exactly 3 more month of cheap labour and that's it. I get my cert, jump around freely, lead my island life back..... Well at least for a couple of month till i start my N.S... Hoping that they'll call me in say around june-july-ish.. Thinking of going somewhere first in June.. Probably heading to a dive site.. Say Great Barrier Reef??? Haha.. Or maybe Maldives??

You may think that "Oh what a farfetch idea he has.. Maldives.. What is he thinking??"

Well to enlighten you, that place is dying.. Because of the rising tide, Maldives is going to disappear in a matter of time. So before it, or me, dies, i intend to dive there one day.

Well i don't mind travelling alone. I find peace and tranquility in it and i don't have to put up with
"people" and "people" who don't appreciate nature.

Dear Allah,

I've never asked to be the richest person on earth. I've never asked to be the smartest person on earth. I've never asked for the most perfect life on earth.

All that i pray for is for my family to stay by my side always. Don't take any of them away from me.

Amin.

2009-12-09T12:57:00.004+08:00

Other people look up to celebrities, well know figures, religious leaders as their inspiration, their motivation and their drive. But for me, i look up to only one person in life. And he is my brother, Abang Halim. Someone who has strong characteristics and good leadership skills. Someone who doesn't deserve to lose his grandma who brought up and took care of him for 23 years. Someone whom i've wronged and i should have never doubted him.

Before, i've never understood him him and the way he works. I've always question his ways and his action but now, i know the reason why.

Abang, adik will never hate you abang. Even if adik does, it's only temporary. At the end of the day, adik will still find abang if adik got problems. Thank you so much for guiding and giving adik inspirations and motivations. Adik will really take your words to heart as much as adik pretend to not hear it.

Love,
Adik

2009-11-29T15:36:00.001+08:00

My last enty was more than 2 month ago and i think its time for me to update my blog. I've been invinsible to the blogging world forgetting that i actually have a blog and i've not been reading people's blog either. But today, i shall make an exception since i have the time and hanis told me to update..

Btw, my laptop is in critical condition right now.. The V button actually came off so everytime i need to press that letter, i have to press this soft button and have to really go slow on it. So i decided to replace the letter with \ instead.. So bare with me aites?

Getting used to working in a hotel now with the 6 days in a week schedule.. Starting to feel the "no life" life. Work can be tiring but what the ehck.. I still ha\e to drag myself to work anyways. I don't really wanna talk bout work because work's a bitch and so are the people.

There's not gonna be much photos anyway in this post.. So its a boring post. I don't see why you guys bother reading anyways.. Still i ha\e to..

At time, i just feel like quitting my job and end my attachment. Of course, there goes my cert and i'll be wasting more than a year of education at ITE.. I'm not complaining but the pay is pathetic and i still need more which is why i'm also working at SOS still when others quit. And what's worst to add on to my misery is that the people whom i need the most to is ne\er by my side. Kinda suck to noe that huh..

Zoukout is around the corner and that is the only thing i'm looking forward to.. Because i'm off on Zoukout which is sat, took my PH in lieu on sunday and off again on monday and i requested for midnight shift on tuesday which i dunno whether they'll still grant my req.. I really need this long break. Thinking off just going tot he beach on monday and 'bersantai' relax there.. Any joiners?

Ok lah enough lah.. I'll try to blog more often.

2009-10-06T21:41:00.002+08:00

This is going to be a long post so bear with me for a bit and be patient.. That is if you want to know more about what's going on with my life. If not then i don't see the reason why are you even in my blog. Since it's been so long since i udated my blog, i'll have a whole load of story to share.

1st up is my attachment.

Currently now im on an attachment program for 6 month. This is part of my course of study in ITE College West Clementi Campus as Hospitality Operations. I'm attached to Carlton Hotel and it commenced on 24th September 2009 till somewhere in March and my first department is Carlton Club. I've been at the club lounge on the 26th floor for about more than a week now. What i didn't expect to be doing up there is actually FnB line which i know nuts about and have zero experience in it. But with the help and guidance of my wonderful colleagues, i'm able to pull through.

My job scope for is basically preparing for breakfast which is from 7-10am and and additional 45 minutes on Sundays. So i have to be up at the club by 6.40 all dressed to prepare for breakfast. Which means i have to catch the first bus at 5.30am or else i'll be late and also i have to be up by 4.45am. Super early.

I have to serve guests drinks or whatever their request when they are at the club. So far i've yet to touch on the checking in part which will be later on once i've mastered the FnB side. I've learn my ways round the hotel where i learnt to stock-take and all. I've been taught how to fold napkins and how to set the table. Ouh and i almost forgot. There's also evening cocktail from 6-8pm where guests has freeflow of alcohol so i learnt how to make the different beverages ranging form coffee to Campari Orange and from hot chocolate to Gin & Tonic.

But the best part about being at the Club is my colleagues like Catherine Phua, my assistant manager, who never fails to make me laugh every single day at work. She is basically the reason that i look forward to when going to work and she ensures the well being of us. There's Netha, the indon minah girl, who has a german boyfriend and she either fights with him on the phone or misses him. There's kelson, my senior, Ji Hun, another trainee from Korea who pronounce pizza as Pijja and my manager, Rekha Kaur, whom is so far nice to me but Netha calls her the Dragon.

There's also Lydia Junny who wears $5 jeans from Serangoon to work and a big Polo T with slippers. There's a reason why i put her in a different paragraph from the others.

Basically i only have 1 off day every week. That's the hotel industry. And my shift is from 7am-3pm and 3-11pm. But coming soon is the midnight shift from 11pm-7am from what i heard. Right now, everyone is training to be lobby host because of the construction going on at Carlton. Will update you further on that.

Apart from my attachment, i really do miss my island family. Everynight, i would be thinking of sitting at Seah Im with them, chit chatting with them, smoking away our lives and all. Ireally do miss that but its just that my time does not permits and i'm physically to tired to make that happen. What i'm really afraid is that i'll be drifting apart from them after these 6 month which will be a nightmare for me. Even right now, i'm starting to feel the seperation as more staff are quitting and new people are coming in. Even with my brother, i'm starting to feel the distance between us.

My Dinner & Dance had just passed and i walked away with $20 vouchers from NTUC and we all concluded that the prizes were bought my Ms Deon because most of the prizes are so Auntie-ish like foot spa, Soap, Ntuc vouchers, caculator etc. I was just disappointed that i didn't get to club with the rest on that day because i was in morning shift the next day.

I think thats about this post. Will be back with more updates.

Sunday Is Hari Raya

2009-09-16T15:21:00.002+08:00

Just a couple more days to the big celebration and yet i'm so nonchalant bout it. I mean gosh it's the same tradition every year where you do the exact same thing, eat the exact same food etc. And every year, somehow my house has to be painted whether i like it or not. The reason why my room has to be painted is because my wall color does not match the curtain that my mum bought for me.

Currently listening to Paramore - Ignorance

I met up with Deela yesterday! As usual, we always have loads to talked about. Never once did the both of us have nothing to talked about. Introduced her to some of my artiste colleagues like Suzana & Isaac.. And she felt out of place because all of them (to her) were like high class and all. Haha.. Also introduced her to the SOS crews as well which includes Raudha which she met before at Civic Centre to lepak and my brother.

Back to the paint issue.. My dad has been nagging & nagging about my room and all.. It's like as if he is sick coughing and all yet he can find the voice somewhere to actually nag at me.. Even when i closed my door, his voice somehows can penetrate through the thick walls. I'll get it done by tonight ok!

Mood - Bored (Like everyday)

These holidays is seriously killing me! I mean i totally have nothing to do at all in the day. No plans no plans.. I think today i shall got to island and play Segway. But i just texted Amalina and she 's apparently not working today. Boo! But no matter what, i still have to go to the island to pass Kak Liana the hamsters that she wants.

Ramadhan's to do lists.

2009-08-25T01:07:00.002+08:00

I need to accomplish a couple of things during this month before Hari Raya starts.

First, i want to revamp my room by painting it to a new color and doing some touch up to the paintwork. I need to buy my own shoe rack to accomodate my legion of shoes and flipflops. Throwing some thrash out would be a good idea and finally my annual spring cleaning where all dust and dirts will be exterminated. Probably add some bean bags and stuff..

I need to make Honey Cornflakes to give to my loved ones. Honey Cornflakes is my family's forte and it's always a tradition every year to make it. But first, the ingredients of course. Only my mu, myself and my 2nd brother knows how to make it.

I want to visit my grandparents and breakfast with them. It's been awhile since i last saw them.

I've been getting Mandarin lessons from my china brother. A session last about 5- 10 mins and it's free. I'm at lesson no. 3 now.. Currently i'm learning how to pronounce Mandarin correctly with the tone and all..

Ok Blogging Done.

Happy Birthday Abang! (Part 2)

2009-08-22T01:36:00.008+08:00

bang said every birthday is a year closer to death.. So sad but true.. But you can't really anticipate death.. They might just come knocking at your door anytime.. So anyway abang, you're old and dying soon.. Please make your will to me soon.. I want your laptop, your camera, your new crumpler beg (ceh buruk siku), all your NUM tank tops, all your brazilanos and your pedro shoe.. That's all you have to your name anyway.. Haha..

The Nafa test gave aches all over my body but i wasn't satisfied with my results..

Had an interview at Carlton Hotel 2 days ago and it went well eventhough i left my achievements of certificates in the Artiste Room the day before. So i actually went for an interview empty handed. I really really wish that they would call me back soon..

Fasting month is today.. In a few hours time, it will be pre-dawn meal.. Too tired to stay awake so i guess i'll be sleeping soon..I'm kinda glad that it's fasting month so that i can save mooney on food.. I guess that's my biggest expenditure on..

So another birthday celebration was held at Carousel with Me, Syaz, Aisyah (CJ), Aisyah (Nazrul). Nazrul & of course the birthday man himself.. I'm gonna try to video blog so here it goes.. My first time video blogging..

Aisyah (CJ) & Me!

Abang & Syaz

Thanks to Syaz for the treat!

And i got cold halfway so i borrowed Nazrul's jacket..

So after the celebration, we headed to Macdonalds at Shaw House where we played Tebu (Taboo).. Tebu in malay means Sugarcane.. Redundant! I love playing Tebu! I think it increases my brain power..

2009-08-19T00:07:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABANG!!!

Happy 23rd Birthday to my beloved brother! May all your wishes and dreams come true! Stay happy always! I've never seen someoned having a 3 day celebration.. A day before his birthday, on his birthday itself and the following day.. Haha.. Hope you had a blast throughout these three days.. You might not realise it but these shows how many people love you for all that you've done for them.. The funny thing yesterday was that the birthday boy bought a gift for me when i shiuld have given him the present which i already did!

Happy Birthday once again!

Loves,

Adik..

Happy Birthday Singapore.. Well Belated though..

2009-08-18T00:46:00.004+08:00

It was a blast on 9th August 2009.. We had a whole lot of fun at the stage as the fireworks lit the sky and as the celebration came to an end.. Well it wasn't the end for the performers.. We paraded the whole stage with our multi-coloured costumes blending everything and moving out from where we were suppose to be.. There were konga lines, dance moves, photo taking etc. It was spectacular..And here's wishing Singapore a Happy Birthday from the island of Sentosa. We have our Peranakan Service Host, Chinese Oscar, Chine Fort Soldier & Malay Artiste! Happy Birthday Singapore!
Eventhough it was my first time being a performer in NDP, i had fun and will continue being a performer throughout..

I'm back!!!

2009-08-17T22:16:00.003+08:00

Hey people! I'm back to blog on shits and stuff... Been ages since i blogged and i know i don't deserve a blog.. But i haven had the time to blog and i when i do, i don't even know what to blog about.. But since today i'm at home for the 2nd half of the day, well i guess i'll just squeeze some time to blog..

Ok first and foremost, i need to have a to-do list on what to do..

I need to blog a proper entry on my Redang trip in July because the previous posts were mainly pictures..
I need to blog on previous events that has happened such as my beachy event which was held in school at Front Office Room..
I need to submit dates to my supervisors next month and decide whether i still want to continue working at Images of Singapore
I need to send more resume to all the other hotels to secure a hotel for my industrial attachment.
I need to really save up because i realise that i've been spending a lot of money..

In regards to No.5, i really need to do that because currently, i'm broke and without a single cent to my name. Currently i'm waiting for my next pay because i had a tiny sum for my previous pay because i only worked for 4 days during that period which was when i came back from Redang.

I feel very movie-iisshh now so i decided to watch Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King but they don't show the whole movie on youtube, just part of it.. Therefore i only watched the battle at Minas Tirith and the End of All Things which is the part where Frodo threw the ring into Mount Doom.. Loved the Eagles and the fight with the Fell Beast (Nazguls).. and how i wish the Mumakil (Oliphaunt) were still around.. I believe they exist.. Wll last time in the middle ages perhaps..

And guess what?? The Hobbit 1 & 2 is gonna be shown in 2011 & 2012!! Well i didn't read the book though so i don't really know what it's all about.. But being a fan of LOTR, i guess i'm gonna watch it still..

IKEA Outing With Abang & Yiling

Went to Ikea a few days back to buy stuff for my events which took place last Friday in school. My group and Sharon's had to combined forces to host a graduation party which was suppoese to be at the beach. So we totally transformed the Front Office Room into a Beach. Abang bought shower curtains for his toilet..

There's a kid in me waiting to be unleashed.. We headed to Macdonalds @ Hougang where we helped Yiling out with her essay.. I helped to edit too! I editted Abang's grammar and tenses. See how tense Abang is when doing work.. And i don't know how the green tea turned red..

Courtesy of Yiling for the photos..

Next up! NDP and how i celebrated it!

5 Random Shits at 3AM in the morning.

2009-07-29T02:58:00.004+08:00

I am blogging at 3am in the morning because i am extremely bored to tears that i feel like tying my two blankets together into making a rope and throw it down the window and free myself (when i can just walk out of my house)
I am on the phone with Anna and and she is showing me pictures of girls that she love in our school which i don't care because i don't care.
I've also been instructed to list down a few pic up lines about sex. Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy? Hi. I'm gay, think you can convert me? So there's more but i'm lazy.
I keep telling myself i am a stupid asshole for being too naive and easily giving in to people.
I am extremely starved and i want to eat cheese naan with keemah!

Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince

2009-07-17T03:38:00.003+08:00

Abang, Yiling and i booked tickets to watch this movie!
Overall, it was ok.. To me, the fighting scene wasn't that appealing.. Obviously the book is better as described by abang.. Yiling and myself had to hear him complain all the way from the movie's music to the directing skills to the next movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and many more.. It was quite sad though to see Dumbledore died..

And abang and i fell in love with Bellatrix Lestrange played by Helena Bonham Carter.. She is so damn cool lah with her dark and sinister acts in the movie.. I fell for her the first time i saw her in Sweeney Todd when she played Mrs Lovett i think..
She is so playful in Harry Potter.. Hhaha.. Love her.. Ok thats's for today!

It's Snorkelling Time!

2009-07-17T02:45:00.007+08:00

Starring:
Suzana!
Abang!
Amir
Bun
And me!
Absence with apologies.. Michelle.. She had to rest back at the resort because she wasn't feeling too well after our last dive..

I was enjoying the beautiful corals and fishes..

When the others were busy cam-whoring underwater posing and stuff..

And a shop opposite our resort sells a bag of bread to feed the fish for 1 ringgit only! So i bought 10 packets! Initially, i only bought a packet but i realise that feeding the fishes can be so much fun! So i bought more for the rest as well! See that's me with the rotis.. And this is what happens when you start feeding the fishes.. They just swarm right to you!That's me and abang..
And me!

Ok the end! Coming up next will be a full summary of the trip which includes Kl and all the combined pics from all 6 cameras.. (For niw, just waiting for Mich for her share of pics) So stay tuned!

Creatures of the Deep!!!

2009-07-10T00:18:00.003+08:00

Starring:

Abang!
Amir!
Bunz!
Michelle!
Suzana!
Last but not least, Me!Ok so we ventured to this dive site at Pulau Redang.. The dive site is called Pulau Paku Kecil and it was our second boat dive.. The previous one was called Bahagia shipwreck where we actually ventured into this 5 year old shipwreck.. Small ship though but it has 3 toilet cubicles with toilet bowls!

The funny thing that happened to me was that as i entered the water, a few mins later, my regulator (the mouthpiece that gives me air) had saltwater in in everytime i took a breath.. So i was actually drinking gulps of saltwater as i breathe and i panicked.. Forgetting that i had a spare regulator, i actually went to Mich and showed her the no air sign and she was like "Huh???" She thought that i was joking.. Can you imagine? My life is at risk and she thought i was joking.. I helped myself to her spare regulator and that was when Chak, a master diver, came to my rescue.. Haha.. Thank god.. That was an experience..

Ok so me and Zana was diving... And of course taking beautiful pictures for beautiful people..
So as we were diving around.. we were attacked by this huge monter creature! Arrgghh! And zana, the warrior princess came to my rescue and slayed the montrous beast!
And all was saved! Haha.. Just kidding! I made that story up.. But that fish is called Stonefish and it can be very venomous when stepped on..

And i think this is an anemone but i don't see the Nemo..

And so, i'm done with part 2. Coming next will be our snorkelling experience!!

Stay tuned for more only on HTTP://CRIMINAL-POET.BLOGSPOT.COM

Redang Madness!!!

2009-07-09T20:10:00.003+08:00

The story of 6 adventurers travelling on a beautiful island called Pulau Redang where they will put their lives at risk by diving into the open waters of the Ocean. Onthat island is also where they will encounter a kind of marine life they have never seen before.

Starring:

Bunz!
Abang!
Michelle!
Zana!
Amir!
Last but not least.. Me! Haha.. (Feeling-feeling model)
Here we have a picture of Joe (Extreme left), our most happening and super duper cool instructor, Michelle, myself and Suzana. The three of us took our Diving license and as of 5th July 2009, we are certified Divers! Woohoo! I can't believe it.. It's like passing my car license.. Now i can dive anytime anywhere i want provided that i have the equipments.

I think me and Suzana fell in love with this picture because of the color coordination of our shirts and for me, i felt that we look like a family with special powers or some sort where everyone of has has special and different abilities. Ok i know i'm talking crap but i love to imagine!

Come night time, all of us head down to the beach and partay! They have clubs by the beach for us to shake our grooves on.. Not forgetting Redang style Macarena! Woohoo... The night's not perfect without Redang style Macarena..

To be continued..

Next up, more pictures of us but this time, it won't be on land.. It will be
Underwater!!!

2009-07-08T02:01:00.000+08:00

Hey y'all! Back from Thailand, Redang & K.L! Super super happening backpacker trip of my life and i love it! Woohoo! Ok there's tons of pics so i'll upload them some other time aites.. To my classmates, i'll be back to see you guys on Monday! And for the rest, miss you guys loads! Hope to catch up with y'all soon!

Moments before my trip!

2009-06-27T12:06:00.005+08:00

And so, before i leave for my solitary trip to Thailand, i shall upload some of my memoirs that had just passed considering the fact that my blog is so empty.. Need to beautify it a little..

Ruby tagged me this picture on facebook.. This was taken at Mr Francis' house.. I remembered because i was late from work.. Hehe..
And to celebrate Ain's b'day, we held it at Powerhouse after all the day celebrations.. More pictures will be at Anna's facebook..
The most awesomest picture ever! The artistes of Sentosa!
Me and Lola had Ben & Jerry's at Vivo one fine day.. Yum yum.. Vey mouth-watering..
And this is my NDP costume for Chapter 4? So the Cucu Datok Merah (This dikir barat group)
Can you imagine?? I bumped into Hidayah at NDP training.. I didn't even know that she was part of it.. It's been like ages since i last saw her.. Btw, Hid is by madrasah friend ages ago..

2009-06-18T03:55:00.002+08:00

I am really very tired and i feel that i could just drop in front of my screen right now and doze off but i just refuse to fall asleep and i am trying my best to hold back. Around this time is the only time where i can just be with myself thinking about a the whole day that had just passed and looking forward to what's coming up for me the following day.

Everyday, i never stopped wishing for the same thing again and again. And everyday, before i step out of my house, i have to put on my mask and show the whole world my plastic happy face that's hiding too much sorrow.

I always tell people that i have given up but in actual fact i cannot give up because i cannot let go. Everyday i live a lie and everyday, i keep telling more lies to cover up my lies.

I will never have someone in my life whom i can talk to. They are either too far away from me or they have their own lives to live. I will never.

The Truth

2009-06-18T03:33:00.004+08:00

Always be prepared to lose someone that you are too close with..

The truth always hurts.. Always too painful to bear..

I'll bear that in mind abang..

The way things work.

2009-06-14T00:27:00.003+08:00

Sometimes when you need something so badly and you would do anything for it, it seemed like moving a mountain to actually achieve that something and it seems so hard to get it. But when you's started giving up hoping for it, it has its way of coming back to you when you least need it and it came at the wrong time. And that moment is where you need to make a hasty yet important decision. I've been through it.

It's funny when people show their care and concern without you realizing it and they show it a manner which you find it hard to accept. Eventhoug its a fact but difficult knowing that SORRY can be be the hardest words to voice out and takes a whole lot of courage to send the most sincere apologies. But what's more hurting is when the person whom you've hurt doesn't accept your apologies. I've been through it.

It's a sad truth but to protect yourself from getting hurt and heartbroken, the best way is to shield yourself from it. And that is to draw a line between colleagues, friends, close friends, best friends, girlfriends and boyfriends. And to draw the line is to not love or let them love you too much. Because a mistake made from you is like a million daggers stabbed to their hearts than a mistake made from just a colleague which means nothing to them. I've made that mistake and i've also felt the stab.

And you'll be surprised at how your own friends can be very understanding no matter how ridiculous and stupid your problem is. Treasure them because they one of the sturdy pillars in your life when all other pillars seems to have collapse. I have made this mistake and i know it won't happen again because i was given an opportunity to redeem myself.

As for myself, i'm just like a bird being chained to my cage and even when the chain isn't there, i refuse to fly and be free when i could because of my own stupidity in believing that i'm still chained.

NDP Training

2009-06-12T11:57:00.004+08:00

Combined Rehearsal on 30th May 2009

Pictures were taken from Facebook. So yesterday, we had another rehearsal but for the Dikir-ians only at Kranji Camp.. It was a short one but we had accomplish the markings and how we enter and stuff like that so yeah..

And i donated blood 2 days ago! It's my second donation so far and this time, i went to the bloodbank at SGH. I'd rather donate there now that i know there's not really many people who goes there to donate.

So it's friday today and it seems that i have a lot of time with me. But i need to settle some stuffs first so i guess i'll be heading down to a couple of places first and i need to make a decision now. Hmm..

HPO Recreational Bonding Day!

2009-06-12T11:26:00.010+08:00

Here are the pictures! Ripped from Ms Dion's Flickr, shumin's Flickr and rupss' multiply. Still waiting for Mr Elvin to pass his set of photos.. HK Rules!
For the 1st time in like a million years, i actually came to school early. I feel like its really an effort made and i shall thank myself for that. By the way, introducing Ayu, the girl beside me, who's my scandal at school.

i'm No. 25! The game of Dog & Bone where we emerge second.See someone lying down there?? That's me and my exhaustion!Credits: Ms Dion, Shumin & Rupps for the pics.

So there was also a game of Dodgeball where we emerge victorious thanks to Bert who was the last man standing.. Haha. And not forgetting Captain's Ball where we emerged second. Overall, the trophy (if there was one) goes to the juniors.. I know.. sad right? But it's bonding day.. Suppose to bond.. Aites..

2009-05-31T23:40:00.004+08:00

Saucony 100 Plus Passion Run 2009

Passion Run 15km Men Open

Muhammad Hazlan Bin Miswan Bib No. 8205 Timing: 1:33:08:23
Abdul Halim Bin Rashid Bib no. 3790 Timing: 1:33:21:60
Mohmad Amiruddin Casperico Ali Bib No. 8139 Timing: 1:39:31:04

Passion Run 15km Women Open
Chai Shi Lin Bunz Bib No. 7888 Timing: 2:07:00:60

2009-05-31T00:22:00.002+08:00

Loved NDP training today even though it was draining!

Ok so my story for today goes like this.. Took the new circle line to Bishan all the way to Choa Chu Kang to meet bapak and we cabbed to Kranji Camp III. Before that in the Bishan Circle line, there was an opening ceremony and the starts of Little Nyonya were there like Jeanette Aw and some of the guys lah which i do not know..

So reached Kranji camp at 1 and started rehearsing some new steps.. At about 3.30++ we headed to somewhere at Kranji to have a combined rehearsal with People's Association, combined choirs, some indian dance group, Ngee Ann Poly where i bumbed into Fauzana (Faiz sister) & Hidaya which i have not seen for ages! Haha.. I bumped into ash (my course mate and i didn't know that he's from Andika). Btw i'm in some volunteer group which i'm uncertain..

One most important thing was making new friends like Adeq, hilmi and also the kecho-ish p.a people like Kak Ana, Nurul, Ziq etc. etc. Haha can't wait for next rehearsal which is on the 13th and i need replacement for IOS on that day! Someone save me!

And bapak told me that i received feedback from Kak Iani (the kakak who managed to get me in at the very last minute) and abang Imran who choreographed the Dikir team.. Both of them commented that i was a fast learner.. i felt so relieved and jubilated upon hearing that and i didn't expect Abang Imran to say that because he is handling such a big group and i didn't expect him to notice me.. Ok good to know good to know..

After the whole event, i chilled out with the p.a ppl and went home with abang.. We explored the circle line before heading home.. bunch of 2 "jakuns" we were lah..

I got a china phone by Jag yesterday.. he totally gave it to me for free! Can you believe it? But i guess i know the reason why.. After using it for one day, i just couldn't stand it any longer and decided to use my old phone back..

Ok i'm done blogging because i'm pissed!

2009-05-30T02:47:00.002+08:00

Yeah just came back from Bugis with the island gang.. We watched Night at the Museum 2.. It was freaking hilarious. The movie ended at about 2am.. So after that, we had a smoke and grabbed some tidbits from cheer and headed home.

What ended the part was kinda gross.. Leha showed us this video of this 2 bitches having sex.. Ok i'm fine with that.. I mean which guy doesn't watch porn right? And that's not all.. One of them shit-ed and these two girls was erotically enjoying the pile of crap! Just imagine it.. My vomit was at the brink of my throat! Yucks! It looked like mocha ice cream.. OK so don't buy mocha ice cream after reading this!

Ok and this is the scary part.. Anna, raudha, shafiiq and myself took the cab home together.. And guess what?? There were cockroaches inside the freaking four wheel! Omg one of the most disgusting thing moment in my life. A taxi laden with cockroaches.. I bet the driver thrives on them.. Prolly feed on them.. Urgh.. And the deal was to go yishun first and sent the girls off which means i'm the last... But i guess the driver went the wrong way and ended up at Hougang instead.. Haha.. Sorry girls! I guess the driver feel my pain more than you guys! And thanx shafiiq for being the hero.. As always.. I know what you guys think! What kind of man am i? I'll tell you.. The one who is afraid of roaches!

Alright! NDP training tomorrow! Gotta turn in early and rest.. Damn! Choa Chu Kang is freaking far lah from Hougang.. Zzzz

2009-05-26T00:02:00.002+08:00

Finally i have the energy to blog! Wanted to blog yesterday but was feeling to exhausted. What causes my fatigue you may ask? Well i took part in passion run on sunday. A marathon which i had to run 15km. It was in fact the longest marathon that i took part so far. I guess i didn't stretch properly and that as a result caused my body to ache like fuck.

I'll upload photos once i get the pictures from abang..

Yeah so today i had to force myself to go to school and i realised the way i walked was as if i got fucked in the back.. I was somewhat limping because my leg muscle were so strained..

Roughly 2 days ago, i went to Aini's b'day party before work.. Oh gosh i love the food lah! BUt being myself (a himbo), you see i kinda did something stupid. Firstly, i saw spaghetti and i happily scoop it.. Then i say a red sauce and i happily pour over the spaghetti not realising that that is chilli sauce.. I only realised that what i poured was chilli sauce until i stumbled upon the real spaghetti sauce.. I even took 3 full scoops of that chilli sauce lah..

So i just suffered silently eating a spice noodle..

That wasn't it. I saw this white soup which i thought it was cream of mushroom and i scoop it and tried it only to realise today when aini told me that that was meant for the spaghetti. It's a spaghetti sauce also..

And that was my blonde moment at Aini's b'day party.

2009-05-21T13:50:00.002+08:00

I guess my finger's itching to kiss the keyboard which is why i'm blogging but not having any idea on what to blog about.

Just finish watching Mean Girls. I can never get tired of watching that movie. And it somehow reminds me of what is happening in real life.

The first half of 2009 has really been a challenging year for me. I've learn a lot from people around me and from the hurdles i've cross through. I've decided to spend the whole day today reflecting on myself and possibly changing myself to be a better person. I really wish to start the 2nd half of 2009 with a new note. My vacation in june will be a great kickstart to it before i start school in July.

I've made a pact to concentrate on my studies in July and massively cut some slack in work. And it has already begun. I'm beginning to focus on my studies and studying hard for my upcoming test considering the fact that i'm the only person who failed the previous elective test which was quite a rude awakening form me.

Also, it's time for me to turn in early so that i can wake up in time for school the next day. I've had enough of coming late and skipping school already.

Passion run is just around the corner and i've not yet trained or even jog a little. I don't know whether i can survive the 15km..

2009-05-21T01:47:00.002+08:00

After hearing about what's been happening around at work, even if it doesn't concern me, i should just avoid listening to it. Because when i do, it simply forms impressions of that person whom is the talk of the town. And i do not want to be judgemental.

Whatever happened in the past has already happened. And i won't look back and harp at it. Instead, i'll just look straight and keep moving on. Whoever that still wishes to "bitch" about me, go ahead. I simply do not care. If it makes your life happier, than by all means. If you think it's fact for you, go ahead. Life is short. I do not want to make enemies. That is why i still call him a friend sri.

And to you my working colleague, if you think what you've been doing is part of your job, then do it. I simply work to meet my friends and to earn money. Just don't disturb my rice bowl and i'm fine with you. If i turn devious and do what you did, then i'm just like you which i never foresee myself as.

My resume is under process. It's time i move ahead and start life new. I've held on to the island life far too long. The only thing that is keeping me from leaving is those wonderful friends that i made so far. One by one, everybody is leaving. I've stop making new friends because i'm tired and because i'm tired of seeing people go. Close to two years. Will i ever let go?

And i ask myself,

Have i surrender?

My answer...

I think i have.

And i know i'm stupid.

But so is everyone else.

Accomplishment!

2009-05-20T00:13:00.003+08:00

Ok this is what i wanna accomplish by the end of this year.

1. Get my Scuba Diving License
2. Donate as much blood as possible by then end off the year (Actual fact is that a human can only donate blood up to 4 times a year only and i've donated 1 already.)
3. Try to get my Car license by the end of this year.
4. Take up First Aid Course
5. Learn to play the Guitar
6. Go Batam and chill there.

That's for now

The first step taken.

2009-05-15T01:02:00.003+08:00

I know its way belated ezann but still, i would like to wish you happy birthday! May all your wishes and dreams come true! And i feel so honoured getting to take a picture with a real princess! Brushing your teeth twice a day and after every meal keeps your teeth clean and shiny! And we the Artiste of Sentosa whom have been chose to be the champion ambassador of Darlie Toothpaste will be the spokepeople for the brand. Chanel, Seth & Hazlan!

I have a friend who loves her boyfriend so much that even when her boyfriend is unfair and over protective of her controling her and such, she still loves the boyfriend a lot even when so many people have been telling her to just leave the guy because you can find someone better. I used to be one of those people who told her that. But now, i'm telling her to pursue her own happiness because her happiness does not lie in other people's mouth but at her own hands. If sticking to that guy will make you happy, than go ahead.

I told bunz that sometimes in life, maybe i shouldn't love my friends too much because one thing in this world that i can't stand is losing them. So if i were to lose them, it wouldn't hurt so much. Maybe i should be like that.. Be a heck care person and don't bother about things..

One by one

2009-05-14T00:08:00.002+08:00

Life means more than anything in this world to me and i would do anything within my means if i could save a life. I would pay for someones operation if they need the money. I would donate my organs if they need it more than i do. I would pump as much blood to them if they have not enough. Just to save a life.

Days goes by and one news after another.

I wish you'll get well soon Ef..

I've decided to take a step back from my current life.. I'll stop trying and whatever things comes along, i'll just play along.. I'm very very exhausted and i wish to rest.. Good night.

2009-05-13T00:07:00.003+08:00

Ok i have pictures to upload! Hooraaayyy!

I miss performing! It's been a while since i performed thoug.. This picture was taken when i was doing show! Haha! I know! Jackass right? Yeah i brought my phone along while performing.. Hope Hazimah doesn't find out about this.. I'll probably get a tongue lashing!
This is the GMAX and GSWING. Took this picture when Jahan and I chilled at Clarke Quay.. It was kinda fun.. She has most of the pictures and it was uploaded on facebook. YOu guys can check it out.. I'm kinda lazy to upload it here.. This picture was taken at Takashimaya with Bunz.. Ok i know both pictures is rotated but i'm kinda alzy to fix it.. So the both of us were at the toy section when we cam across this display. And i was like "Hey! This can depict our little big family.. The one sitting like the king is Daddy!" And bun2 added "Yeah and the one sitting on the toilet bowl is abang! Because he likes to shit alot " And the both of us laugh out loud. The end.
Tomorrow is my presentation for my H.I.S. Can't wait to present because i think i really put a lot of effort in it halfway till i lost my zest. But still, i'm gearing to perform. Thank you pot for the blank disk.

After 6 month being in artiste, i realised that my body is there but my heart isn't. I still love attractions operations more than anything. The only thing stopping me is just the pay. At this age, i want to enjoy life to the fullest. I've never held quite a huge sum of money. I know i sound like a greedy pic think only on money and i know money can't buy happiness. But i believe money is a form of bridge to happiness. I want to go on a holiday and take my scuba diving course with my friends and that cost money and if course the happiness comes from my friends when we are there.

So right now, i'm studying real hard for my guided tour which hopefully might happen because i strongly believe that that is my passage to being an attraction host again. It's a complicated thinking of mine but you'll find out one day.

An attraction host is someone who gets up and leaves everyone behind. I believe that's meant for me...

Fresh New Look!

2009-05-11T22:12:00.003+08:00

Got my blogskin changed! Looks better now.. It also gives me the motivation to blog.

Alright school is pretty normal for me today. Nothing special nothing cool. And i had to take a cab to school form Clementi because it was pouring! I'll be submitting my H.I.S (Hospitality IT System) project tomorrow which is way overdue! I really don't know what Elvin is gonna say.

I headed home straight after school today which you'll rarely hear.. I know right! You guys can go buy 4D. So anyway, i felt that i had so much time in my hands that i went to clean out my wardrobe and refolded my clothes. Decided to throw some old and fugly clothes to the Karang Guni man. I also cleaned a bit of my room which is like a pig sty. My mum has been nagging saying "Bilik kau takde rupe bilik terus macam kucing beranak! (Your room doesn't resemble a room. More like where a cat gave birth!)

School starts at 11 tomorrow and i don't feel like going to school. Again, nothing new. Since when Hazlan wants to go to school right? But i know i have to because i just receive a warning letter from my lecturer stating that my attendance is poor. All my other classmates got an email instead but i'm the only one who got a letter handwritten, sealed and sent. Of course my dad hit the roof upon seeing that cursed paper. And comes his favourite hobby: Lecture

I really am hoping for someone to call me and ask for replacement because my next working day is Friday and i need to work to earn money! I'm going on a holiday for crying out loud! And my mum pestered me to buy for her a handbag but my brother came to the rescue and gave her money instead to buy that bag.

I would like to thank Bunz for buying me a new wallet and a pouch for my external hard drive. She got $250 Takashimaya voucher to spend on and she bought a keychain from Germany for Daddy and a handbag for Mummy and also a laptop bag for Abang.

And i just got news that abang is running a fever which is rare because he's like the ironman. (And sometimes he thinks he's ironman) Let's just hope that it's not Swine Flu because i just went out with him yesterday and i might be at risk.

Ok i've gotta finish up my projects and study for my P.I.C (Principle of International Commerce) test tomrrow. I'll be back with more updates!

2009-05-06T16:23:00.003+08:00

It started out last night when i got my moodswing until i brought it to school.. That's when i realise i have friends who shows care and concern like Mira, shen-mo, Zaki, ezann etc.. Anyway, i skipped PIC because i really couldnt concentrate in class.. My mind kep wandering elsewhere always thinking about something.. Besides, i'm working today and i didn't bring my crumpler which has everything so i went home to get changed and all..

I really think that i'm being too concerned and caring. And it's very dangerous.. I really should firstly cool myself down, forget one thing at a time as i really have alot in my mind. I should take things easy and really mind my own business.

So i went out with Bunz and we watched Wolverine.. The movie's good but i kinda hate the graphics.. After that, we headed to alleybar and grab some drinks to kill time before heading home.. Gosh.. The frozen margarita is lethal!

I think i really have been missing a lot of people this couple of days.. Firstly, my far far far away friend miles away from where i am.. You know who you are.. Come back come back!!! I miss Sri Wahyuni! Ok i still want that sakae treat from you! You'd better read this! I also do miss Daddy Amirrudin Casperico Ali! It seems i only see him like once a week nowadays.. And i've been having these bad dream about him scolding me or something.. Is that a sign???

Someone's been hate tagging Mira's blog.. And i'm a little upset with that but i know mira.. She can totally handle it.. You should go see her blog.. See how this "dunno" girl makes a damn bloody fool of herself.. Very very pathetic.. I feel like donating 5cents to her.

I kept reflecting on myself. Do i have this disability of not seeing through your kind acts? That i find what you've been doing disgusting and just makes me feel how stupid you are? Or am i stating a fact that you are just being so stupid.

Time is really running out and the zest is dying. I guess my wish on the stick won't be granted.

I guess i'll be getting ready for work already..

Realisation

2009-05-03T01:08:00.002+08:00

I guess it's been a long and i've forgotten what it feels. And i'm still can't let go of the fact that i've kept to my motto. I really don't know whether i should do this. Commitment is still my biggest fear and i'm really afraid. Still there's just too much thats stopping me from going for it. I don't even know if its for real. But life's about risk and there's no fun without any challenges. We'll see how it goes for me.

It pains me to hear you already talking about death. I know you've been suffering for more than a year but don't forget that if you leave, you're friends and family are the ones who will get hurt the most. You have to really fight it and be strong. It's just an obstacle that god have sent down for you to overcome. I believe you will see through it and i have faith in you. It pains me that i know about it and have to keep quiet and pretend that you are fine. When i heard about it, my whole body shook and i just froze. It never occur to me that such things can happen to my own circle of family. I want to hug you and tell you that i really love you so much. And i really do. Please stay strong and stay happy!

And i finally know where i belong.

2009-04-30T12:22:00.002+08:00

Tears stream down my face when i lose someone i can't replace...

2009-04-29T16:53:00.003+08:00

It really pains me to say that no matter what happens, I will still be there for you at the end of the day.

2009-04-27T22:26:00.002+08:00

Been forced by Ezann & Mira to update my blog.. Haix.. Besides, it's been awhile since i blog.. I have really lost the mood to blog but nevertheless, i'll try my best to constantly update it once in awhile..

Let's track back on what i've been up to recently..

Work and work and work

Clubbing at Powerhouse last saturday with Bunz..

I bought a Hardrive! I named it Max.. It's 250gb and thanx to Hazima, i got it at a discounted price..

And i'm lazy to blog.. Bye

2009-03-24T01:11:00.002+08:00

And the charade is still on! (Evil laughs)

Just had a little chat with Gina updating a little bit about each other's life and some story telling.. I kinda learned a little bit more about her now.. And i understand her better.. Let's make our plan work!

And hey you! Yes you! I think i deserve a little more compassion! I am so gonna kick your unsorry ass one day.. Asswipe!

Ok everyone's like superly excited about the redang trip.. Especially Abang.. Sampai nk pegi advance nampak.. Haha.. I got to admit i am too.. But i'm a very patient person.. I'll wait..

I need to do some yoga to cleanse my mind.. Any kind soul wanna teach me yoga?

These holidays is seriously boring.. I can't wait to start school and see my friens.. Or at least our class chalet.. I bet it's gonna be fun fun fun fun fun!

Syaz! I miss you! Come back soon.. Or skype or something.. I know you'll be reading this! Love you load! Got so much to tell ya.. (Aussie Acent)

Baby lola, i'm sorry for missing your birthday.. I promise i'll make it up to you multiple times better than what they did for you.. Just gimme some time ok.. I promise..

Short and spicy

2009-03-19T00:00:00.003+08:00

Two words.. Terase & Perasaan..

That's all i can say..

Moving on..

Finally got a whole day off from work today.. Went to the gym at Ficus juz now.. It was a great workout though.. Haven had that since ages..

Actually i don't really have nothing much to blog today.. Hmm.. Yeah i guess i'm done..

P.S. I'm an evil scheming person!

Pink - Don't Leave Me

2009-03-18T14:25:00.004+08:00

I don't know if i can yell any louder
How many times have i kick you out of here
Or said something insulting

I can be so mean when i want to be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
But my heart is broken

Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me
I always say how i don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please don't leave me

How did i become so obnoxious
What is it with you that makes me act like this
I'm never been this nasty
Can't you tell that this is all a contest
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
But baby i don't mean it
I mean it, i promise

I forgot to say out loud
How beautiful you really are to me
I can't be without
Your my little perfect punching bag

Divas of Sentosa having fun!

2009-03-17T01:03:00.009+08:00

We had a chalet to hold a meeting regarinf IOS zone 5 on how we can improve the area.. Well As mention in the previous post that i'm kinda lazy to upload the pictures, today, i found the motivation to do so..

I would say that night was weirdly wild.. A couple of hot juicy news is spreading around now about someone and someone.. Maybe because there was Bacardi & Vodka involved too..

So anyway what we did was we brainstormed, wrote a skit and act it out.. We also took the opportunity to celebrate Bapak and Q's b'day..
A couple of weeks back, Juz, Bapak, Yazid and myself hang out.. Initially, the plan was to watch movies.. We were planning to watch He's just not that into you, or Push, or Watchmen but the plan backfired because Yazid & Juz didn't want to go back so late..

So after eating at Botak Jones, we spend the remaining night at Balcony and got ourselves some drinks and we just chat and camwhore the whole night.. I ordered for myself a Screaming Orgasm which look like Teh-Ping but it's actually Bailey's and some other concoctions..Well Juz & Yazid hogged on to the camera more thus explains the over-flooding of their pictures in my blog..

Finally, i can a whole three days off to myself.. I'm still thinking of what to do with these three days.. Gym came to my mind.. There's also swimming and jogging.. Probably finish reading up my Twilight and moving on to New Moon.. I know all these ideas of mine are very "healthy" That's because i chose to have a quiet and relaxing holiday.. We'll see what are my plans for tomorrow..

I'll continue reading up my Twilight now..

A broken door and The Change

2009-03-16T00:31:00.004+08:00

I don't know why my eyes feel so sore.. Maybe it's the late nights or just too tired from work.. I think i've done quite a number of shows past few days including today..

Anyway, Abang is back! You've been missed!

And so i'm thinking of signing up for insurance under Great Eastern and my agent will be my supervisor, Hazima.. She's been telling me loads of stories about limb amputations, terminal diseases, sad financially-broke stories of families etc. So yeah i'll get a plan for myself.. But it'll be more of a savings plan kinda thing..

Ermm.. Ok i stole pictures from facebook.. It's the photos at a chalet with the artiste.. But i'm super super lazy to upload it now.. So i guess i'll just upload it some other time aites.. Now i need to bloghop to find a certain blog..

Before that, i would like to share with you guys an incident that happened to me a few days back.. Well.. I got locked inside my room.. Not that i was being naughty or what that my parents had to lock me in but the stupid lock at the door just failed me.. It happened after i finsihed showering, i headed to my room and locked the door to change.. And that stupid shit happened! I got my brother to fix it but he ended up breaking the lock.. So now i can't really close my door.. There's like a stupid hole there.. And i have to get a new door! Wonder how much that will cost..

Did i blog about me donating blood?? I can't remember but i shall blog about it.. I think it was a couple of weeks back.. The blood suckers came to our school demanding blood from the students so we had to give a packet of blood each.. I would personally like to thank Danny & Bapak for taking care of me at the chalet.. Well i couldn't see what you guys did but whatever you did, i'd really appreciate it.. Yelah.. Someone seems angry about it untill have to blog about it what.. Right Danny Ramlan? Haha! I love you Danny..

I foresee an impending major fight coming and i know it will be my fault because of my stupid impulsiveness of saying YES to something.. Well i agreed to it in the moment of anger but i never expect it to really happened.. I guess i'll just have to put my heart to it.. I can't hold the secret for long for i know that it will eventually be passed around.. I am just worried about the thoughts that will be created..

I've made a promise to myself to be a patient, caring and thoughtful person and i shall keep to it.. I know i can do it..

As a matter of fact, i've decided to use the one month holiday to actually reflect and change myslef into a better person.. Straighten and iron some things out etc. It has already begun actually.. i just hope i can commit to it..

Bed Bugs and Old Posts

2009-03-13T23:56:00.011+08:00

Urgh! I have a bed bug infestation on my bed.. I'm like considering burning my bed and buying a new one.. I read up on the internet saying that eucalyptus oil wards them off and now my whole room stinks of that oil.. Anyway, today's post is gonna be all about previous events that happened and the pictures to go with it.. To start things off..

Ezann came to watch my show one fine day.. And for those of you who don't know what i'm working as in Sentosa, below are pictures which will fill those questions of yours circling around your head.. Anyway ezann, well done! The shots were well taken!

After an exhausting night, we do have an exhausting amount of fun too especially with our multi-talented artistes of sentosa.. This is a pic of Zana's glamourous moments full of "papparazis" and "reporters" (in imagination land) followed by the usual camwhore moment with a little bit more funk and style!

Picture full of my cuzzies taken at Kimi's b'day chalet at Home Team NS.. We had to finish up blowing the balloons by that night for the party the next day thus explains all the balloons..

This family photo of moi was taken at home in celebration of my brother's b'day on 24th Feb.. And the ice cream cake is awesome!

Karaoke with my sisters @ Cuppage!

In addition, here are the pictures form Saleha's Birthday Chalet.. Was extremely fun as if i was living under one roof with my friends.. There was twister being played and lots and lots of camwhoring sessions going on.. A little outdated i know..

WOW! That's one long post of mine.. Haha.. Basically all these pictures depicts what i've been up to at the start of 2009.. This year is really a challenging year for me having have to go through lots of things that i've never imagine it can happened in life..

Just to end it off..

Come back soon abang.. You've been missed terribly by adik..

2009-03-12T00:03:00.005+08:00

I sent abang off at the airport just now.. He's going to redang at Kuala Terengganu, Malaysia.. There was some trouble for him regarding his passport because from what i heard, it seems that his passport was expiring soon or something like that.. But thank god everything was settled.. I was kinda worried for him though..

Sri was like sad that they were leaving and stuff like that but i told her off and said that they were going on a holiday to have fun etc and not leaving forever kinda thing.. But the funny thing was that as i was having dinner with Mira at Popeyes, this sudden feeling of loneliness just struck me just like that.. I suddenly felt that i really miss my big brother eventhough it was like what less than hour??

It also dawn to me that i was behaving like a small kid for the past week always troubling him and not even treating him like my big brother but more like my personal punching bag always venting my frustration at him and such.. Eventhough i didn't want him to go for this trip initially, i guess he deserve this vacation from his hectic and busy life.. So abang, adik will pray for your safety and hope you'll have loads of fun aites? I'll miss you terribly for these 5 days!

I brought Mira along at the airport since she was feeling bored at home anyway so i treat her to popeyes after sending them off and we really had a good talk over what has been happening and a couple of bitching too.. Haha.. These is why sometimes, i really cherish going out with just myself and that person because after that, i'll understand and know that person better and at the sametime, i'll tell him or her what's been troubling me and stuff like that rather than always hanging with a group of "the more the merrier" people..I really feel like blogging so this is gonna be quite a long entry..

I stole some pictures from ahmad's multiply.. These are quite good shots though..

Wow! Since when am i so hardworking in class? I should be sleeping.. Never miss a camwhoring sessions with the girls!

And the jackass award goes to... (Drumroll)
Zaki & Nani!

I had a chalet with the artistes yesterday and we overnight till today.. The chalet was hold a meeting to discuss about what needs to be done and improved at zone 5, Images of Singapore.. Only the artiste that is working at Ios was invited but no worries.. Will get to spend time with all of them one fine day.. Overall, the chalet was great and fun but it didn't end with a happy note for me.. Erhem..

Anyway, just hope that Reg will accept the script that we made..

Ok i guess i'm done blogging for now.. I'll be back tomorrow i think.. So see ya soon..

2009-03-08T00:34:00.003+08:00

Seriously, no one understands me at all.. No one.. And i just don't understand some people too.. I just want to be happy.. Is that too much for me to ask? But for them to grant me that slight happiness seems to be the hardest thing on earth.. Sometimes, i just wish that they would actually think about me but it seems i am non-existent.. I never wanted to be invisible..

No matter what i do now, i'll never be happy.. I force myself to be happy but i just ended up hurting myself and the people around me.. Looking back in the past, i do regret some of my actions.. But what's the point? I'm already where i am now.. I can't turn back time.. All i can do is learn from my mistakes..

Honestly, i'm not a very strong person.. I've always had pillars supporting me but one by one, they crumble down.. I was so confident that i could still carry on with just a pillar.. I pin all my hopes on this very last pillar that i could lean on.. All my hopes.. All my faith.. But he just disappoint me..

I don't have the courage to start life afresh.. Because i can never let go.. I keep holding on to the past.. What i'm doing now is just rebuilding those pillars..

I need a shoulder to cry on.. I need an arm to lean on.. I need a hand to hold on.. I need a lead to carry on.. I need an advice to move on..

I just want my old friends back..

2009-03-04T23:10:00.002+08:00

You are just not another friend.. You are my brother.. And you can't run away from that.. Well i did in the past but the truth is, i couldn't.. You have never been a burden to me and you will never ever be.. You are just one stubborn brother that i ever had.. And i'm afraid to lose you but i just don't want to show it..

7 Deadly Sins...

2009-02-25T20:57:00.000+08:00

Greed:	High
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Very High
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Very High
Lust:	Very High
Pride:	Very High

Discover Your Sins - Click Here

Somethings wrong with me..

2009-02-22T15:16:00.002+08:00

I don't know why but for the past few days, i just feel like being alone not talking to anyone including my loved ones.. I have been shutting them out of my life and yes i do feel guilty about that but i just feel very.. I don't know..

2009-02-16T00:14:00.002+08:00

Ok i'll just make this real quick because i have to rush loads of things..

Just a little update about what has been happening so far..

Hmm.. Ok i just changed my number.. It's 90214571.. But the old number is still in use.. Just that i'll be using more of the new number..

I need to rush loads of projects! I have a 6000 words summary to be completed by this week and i have yet to start on it.. I also have a 30 mins presentation to be presented by tomorrow and i have not started.. I have another short presentation for my lecture class to be presented next week and i have not start on it yet.. And last, i have a proposal presentation due this coming tuesday.. And i am on the verge of completing it..

And i am on the verge of dying! Urgh! Ok i'll find a way which i always do. I really have been busy with work and stuff.. I even had to do midnight shopping last night because i really got no time to do it in the day.. It's either school or work.. School or work..

Anyway, i went to Mustafa with abang last night.. We stepped foot there at like what 3am?? And i reached home close to 6.. Had to wake up at 10am as i had IOS which starts at 12.. We send in total $150 excluding the cab fair.. Haha.. Righttt... But i was happy that i got all my stuff and toiletries.. But i realise that i forgot to buy a earpiece.. I knew i forgot to buy something yesterday..

Ok i guess i'm done for now.. I actually have loads to blog but i really don't have the time to.. See ya in my next post..

Part 2 of farewells

2009-02-12T12:31:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, i bid farewell to one of my acquaintance whom i got very close to when she cam back to Singapore for her summer break. She left for Australia yesterday to continue with her studies and she'll be coming back somewhere at the end of the month.

I never expect to be very close with her as she was my brother's friend.. But somehow, meeting her was a blessing because now, i get a clearer picture of everything and i understand things better.

Myself, my brother together with a couple of syaz's friends, Aisyah (Nazrul), Noraisyah, rina & Shasya were there yesterday.. After all the hugs and goodbyes and farewells, we proceeded to the viewing mall only to be cheated of our feelings because we were looking at the wrong plane.. We were on the phone with her till she took off and the line got cut off. Cool or what! Abang and myself got to hear the take off "music". She flew in Qantas Air..

After that, the remains of us chilled at Popeyes and starbucks till late and went home.. Bye syaz! Take good care of yourself there! Make sure you miss me aites.. Like what my brother said, if you see smoke, run away! Haha.. Love you deep2!

Part 1 Of Goodbyes

2009-02-11T16:04:00.005+08:00

Finally, i've decided to update my blog. Why? Because i have a lot of time now waiting for my brother to finish whatever he is suppose to do.. Also because some people have been pestering me to update my blog like Danny and Anna.. So anyway, I'm just sitting down at the cafe blogging and surfing porn. (As if!)

School was draggy and plain boring today. I didn't learn anything. And the best part was, last night, i slept at 3am because i was rushing my presentation which was given to me last minute too. So i only slept for 3 hours. I came to class slightly late only to find out that the deadline was extended till next week. I'd flare up of course! But Ezann and Taufiq cooled me down by praising me saying that i was hardworking. Haha.. Whatever makes me happy!

Anyway, pictures of all past events have been posted.. They are all at the previosu post. I think my blog is best viewed using Internet Explorer as Mozilla tens to cut the blog halfway.. So yeah.. Oh and you can view them at Facebook too for facebook users.. I've already uploaded it.

Alright.. Part 2 of goodbyes at the next entry..

Survey Hunting At Changi Airport

2009-02-11T15:57:00.006+08:00

One of the assignments given was to ask foreigners to complete a survey which was prepared by us regarding their preferences of a hotel. So the best place to target foreigners is the Airport! And we had fun as well..
Courtesy of Ezann for the pictures

Yusheng with HA / Happy Chinese New Year!

2009-02-11T15:48:00.004+08:00

Well it was fun while it lasted.. I wanted to leave early but sharon was like forcing us to stay saying that Mr Francis bought it for a very expensive price at Crystal Jade and so on.. So Me, Mira & Ezann decided to stay on..

Courtesy of Ezann for the pictures
Courtesy of Mr Francis for the Yusheng

Geek Vs Glamour Nussu Bash @ Zouk

2009-02-11T15:32:00.010+08:00

Project Director who made the whole event run (Of course not by himself): My very own Abang!

Courtesy of Anna for the pictures

HA Service Conference 2009 @ ITE Dover Campus

2009-02-11T15:15:00.010+08:00

(Pictures way outdated!)
Anyway, all these pictures shows how crazy HA can be but it's just too bad that we do not have the pictures of us doing work but only us having fun. Well we work hard and play hard too! Have fun!

Courtesy of Ezann for the pictures!

2009-02-03T01:43:00.000+08:00

Taufik Batisah - Holding On

My world is closing in I'm so alone
The door is locked and nobody's home
Desire is the key that I must own
Emotions get me losing control
I'm losing control

But I know
It's the way that I must live
Even though
It's so unclear, so unfair
God I know
There's a path for everyone
I must believe and keep holding on

I'm wishing I was somebody else
This world left me all by myself
Now why do they keep playing with my mind
Trying to break me down trying to make me blind
But I see

Cuz I know
It's the way that I must live
Even though
It's so unclear, so unfair
God I know
There's a path for everyone
I must believe and keep holding on

God I know
There's a path for everyone
I must believe and keep holding on

Never let my fears conquer me
Cuz I know in my heart what I can be
Holding on

Late-night Supper @ Newton

2009-01-28T16:52:00.005+08:00

Dated eons ago.. Juz ripped from Anna's multiply..

Credits: Anna Bte Jaroxy

Photoshoot

2009-01-28T16:38:00.001+08:00

My photo shoot in school...

A Catastrophe that struck my house!

2009-01-28T16:32:00.002+08:00

Something terrible really happened at home.. It’s a catastrophe that has never struck us before and i am devastated by it.. My internet connection is down people! I can’t go online, check my facebook, update my blog or whatsoever shit that has got to do with the I word! How tough life can be without internet..Even my brothers are affected by it! Basically, all the 3 computers at home are down now.. Right now in my eyes, Tifa is just a piece of junk that gives out light to me.. She doesn’t do much..

Ouh and how i’m updating my blog you may ask? Well, this entry was pre-blogged using Microsoft words on 27th January 2009 at 11.57pm. I just save it so that when i will get internet connection somewhere at some cafe or something, i’ll just copy and paste it at blogger. So it’s like i’m blogging for the future kinda thing you see.. (I'm at Macs now at Hougang Mall.. Today's date is the 28th)

Ok during the CNY period, the first day was superbly tiring for me.. I was doing IOS the whole day on 26th Jan since morning and i had to do 3 shows at night.. Gosh i never felt this kind of fatigue in my life before.. I went home straightaway and had a good rest.. I had the whole bed to myself as my brother went for some camp at his school. The next day, i just did IOS till evening and went home as there’s school tomorrow.

Ok listen to this.. The CNY period was heart-wrenching for both me and Ershad.. We actually missed Attractions Operations! Watching them working R.U (Reserve Units) made us salivate and wished that we were still wearing our purple uniform with our nametags.. But only for these two days! I still love Talents and the artistes! We even went to the extent of saying that we would work for attractions for free on these two days if given the permission to do so...

Anyway, I went to Zouk few days back. Saturday to be exact on the 24th which was suppose to be my family’s bbq pit. But i kinda ditch that.. It was fun considering that that was my first legal virgin experience in a club.. Why i said legal is because i’ve been to clubs before i turned 18.. Its just that those were stupid sneak-ins, underage parties and lousy clubs which probably closed down now.. But Zouk was alright lah..
Ok all i need to do now is to

1. Grab pictures from Anna when we went to Zouk and post them..
2. Grab pictures form Ezann when we attended Service Conference at Dover and post them
3. Grab pictures from Anna (again) when we had supper at Newton and post them

I think that’s about all.. Will be back with those pictures!

P.S I need my internet connection back badly! Urgh!

2009-01-19T23:04:00.004+08:00

I had a talked with Mira during one of our OTOT (own time own target) breaks and we went out to have a smoke. Pouring out my woes to her makes me feel better and i have lots of trust and faith in her. I have faith that we will still remain as who we are and stick to the status quo and won't distance ourself because of what i told her. To really have her as a friend is one that i will never regret. Cheers me up when i'm down and lend her ear when most needed. I love you mira and you know i do.

I really don't know how i landed into this situation and i want to get out of it. I'm scared that things might not turn out right. I'm just too scared to do anything right now but run away from it and just let time restore everything. I know running away won't solve anything but if i were to interfere, it would probably worsen the condition.

I really don't know how much longer i can hold on. I really need to break free from the chain and be myself again. But i'll always look back and that's when the chain will hook itself to my skin again. Like what i told Mira, just let time and nature takes its course.

Time will heal all wounds..

2009-01-17T21:08:00.005+08:00

Ok i am fucking broke! Can you believe it? I'm actually living off my parents? My pay is like taking fucking long to come and it better be a bomb.. If not, i'll flare like crazy! I'm like so obsessed with it that i actually check my bank account every hour online.. Hopefully some kind soul would actually transfer money to my acccount after hearing my desperate cry.. Haha.. Keep wishing Hazlan..

I went to the doctor this morning to check on my asthma and guess what? I got charge for adult consultation! Like what the fuck? Then i realised that i'm 18 and i wanted to make a big hoohaa at the payment counter but they blame me for not showing my student pass.. Well i guss it's my fault then..

I stayed home the whole day smoking my life away because i really am not myself this few days.. I just don't feel like doing anything at all except Tifa (Laptop).. Went bloghopping and i found pictures so being the thief that i am (hehe), i'll just rip some of them.. But of coz i'll crediit the pictures ok?

My very 1st show and it was caught on camera! Woohoo! Thank you syaz!
I found this picture at Mira's blog.. Thank you mira for posting it.. It's quite a nice shot though i must say..

Ok i need to post the pictures taken at Dover campus during the Service Conference.. Shall rip it from eezann's multiply.. Remind me ok?

................................

It happened again.. For the second time in my life, i felt it again.. I've been warned that this was coming but it fell on deaf ears.. I just refused to heed the advices thrown at me.. I know drinking won't solve anything but if it helps to numb the pain, then it shall be my only company throughout this dark period..

Please Hazlan, learn to let go.. Just let it go and forget about it..

I'll be waiting for you...

2009-01-13T02:59:00.006+08:00

Thanks to people like Bapak because he and Zilin were talking non-stop about The Little Nonya during Clap & Cheer a few days back, it instigated my drive to actually watched the drama serial and I GOT HOOKED TO IT! I just started watching it today and i'm already at my 5th episodes.. Watching it at youtube by the way.. Bapak challenged me to finish the whole thing in less than a week.. He gave me the deadline which is this Friday and well i accepted the challenge and i guess i'll just have to go back home after school and Drama marathon at home everyday till Friday..

Moving on...

I had a talk with Mr Francis a few days back regarding my attendance in school and i came to a realization that i have to spend more time with my classmates.. My classmates have always been there for me but it's just me who's missing in the family portrait.. Therefore, i have come to a decision that i will be relieved of some of my duties and commitments in school.. To tell you the truth, after making that decision, i never felt lighter and free before.. I'll continue to spend more time with them in forever to come..

Moving on again..

I will still wait for you to give me an answer.. I have patience because i know it will pay off.. But one day, the river too will dry up similar to the hopes that i've pinned on you.. I have sacrificed a lot for you and i am exhausted.. I can't go on anymore.. It's time for me to rest.. Please grab my hand soon..

I'll be waiting for you..

Artiste Back-Of-House Camwhoring Session

2009-01-12T23:16:00.004+08:00

This two pictures were taken on 31st December 2008 before we all started partying at Siloso Beach Party.. Clockwise direction: Hazlan, Ershad, Sunny, Danny, Manjeng, Theresa & Yazid
Vougue Shot!
And off to Siloso Beach Party after the three shows!

Courtesy Of Danny AKA Cullen for the pics!

My Amazing Birthday Race!!!

2009-01-12T21:27:00.007+08:00

Courtesy Of Anna Jaroxy For The Pics!

Dinner with Bapak Zamri

2009-01-12T00:49:00.005+08:00

Went to ate at Thai Express during our break at IOS and followed by Dessert at Earl's Swensen.. The pictures at Swensen which potrayed different expressions actually symbolizes and holds a story behind it.. Some reminiscences going on there

Credits: Bapak for the pictures. More pictures please next time.
Btw, we had this dinner like a few weeks back..

I'm finally fucking legal! Which doesn't seem to be much of a shock to me though..

2009-01-12T00:19:00.004+08:00

So many things happened one day before my birthday which included a countdown game for it as well.. Well let's start from morning..

Had to wake up massively early (Wow such strong word) because of clap and cheer at IOS.. Was like a morning workout for me though.. Stayed on at IOS till 6+ which was a bummer.. And i found out that Aliff works in Digi photo.. That's cool! Now the fun part began in the evening..

I was doing show at Songs.. It was the second show and guess what? The show stopped for a good 20 seconds?? Can you believe it? And i'm just a newbie lah and such things had to happened which was an experience.. But woah you guys should see my expression.. I was like lost and i turned to Diana and Diana was like "Ok emergency.. Gather at the center!" So we crawled slowly to the pontoon..

Diana made me go macdonalds and the birthday surprise was ruined because Bapak (Zamri) was too lazy to answer his phonecall as he was bragging about his upcoming wedding that i went to answer it and Diana spilled the whole thing.. Ouh i ate with the artiste btw in case you were wondering.. Thanks Hazima, Diana, Theresa, Daryl, Sham and Bapak for being there.. I love you guys to the max!

Went to macdonalds and they bought me a cake and sang a Birthday Song loudly at macs.. The sweetest thing was the birthday card signed by everyone there.. I kinda love that..

Now to end the night and start the countdown to my new life, i made my way to Vivo and without any hesitation, i had to play Amazing race all by myself.. I had to run from one end of Vivo to another outlets by outlets and the last stop is waterfront.. I got a shocked to see Abang, Amir, Bas, Hasri, Irfan, Tweety and Glady! I expected to see only Ershad, Anna, Amalina, Saleha and the boyfriends..

To have the crews there was really heart-warming for me and i really appreaciated it.. Thanks for the birthday cake, the "cake facial" which smells like baby vomit, the company, everything! I really love and cherish you guys!

Siloso Beach Party Pictures

2009-01-11T18:25:00.009+08:00

Credits: Anna Bte Jaroxy for the pics

Reality...

2009-01-05T01:18:00.003+08:00

It's school tomorrow.. And the wheel of life turns.. It's time for me to leave some things behind.. Part with it.. Whatever that is left behind will just be a memories.. This part of the road is the one where i never want to meet.. To make a turn.. All i want is to just drive straight..

This vacation has been sweet.. I have met people whom are great, fun and cheerful.. I have also strengthen ties between my friends.. But a price to pay for that as some knots are loosen as well.. It's been an experience.. A challenge.. But time for reality to kick in..

And the pages turns.. Time to start a new chapter..

Still in a party mode...

2009-01-04T00:22:00.003+08:00

Finally i get the whole day off tomorrow.. I shall sleep the whole day and prepare myself for scholl on monday.. I know! School! Urgh please don't mention that work.. I'm starting to develop allergies of it.. Yeah as mention in my title, still in a party mode.. I just ain't ready for school yet..

Haven't really blog about Siloso Beach Party yet.. And my blog totally suck for not having much photos.. All i can do is blame myslef for losing my camera at Taman Negara.. The party was awesome.. And i know Zoukout was better but it's just too bad that i couldn't go.. Let's fuck that one side first.. I was the first to enter amongst the rest as i got complimentary ticket.. The rest had to wait for other free tickets..

I spent the first part of the night with Anna and gang and the other half with Abang and the Artiste.. Cheers to Juz for the free flow of drinks..

Been workin for quite a number of days recently.. Kinda exhausted too.. And i'm really hating my phone for giving me a whole lotta problems..

Ok i'm gonna grab some pics from facebook and post it here.. Be right back..

Goodbye 2008.. It was fun while it lasted..

2009-01-01T22:56:00.002+08:00

Ok so let's flashback on what i've been up to lately..

29th December 2008 : Attrac High Staff Gathering.. Overnight at Pahlawan Beach till morning..

30th December 2008 : Crashed Abang's house to get some sleep. Proceeded to Class chalet in the evening.

31st December 2008 : Class chalet ended. Went home to catch up some sleep. Collected back my Sony Er handphone which i sent for servicing. Still giving me some problems. Proceeded to SOS to do 3 shows. And...

SILOSO BEACH PARTY AFTER WORK!

1st Jan 2009: Working IOS.. Started at 12pm.. Managed to catch up some sleep.

My parents and my little brother watched my show on the 31st and so did Syaz, Aisyah & Nazrul.. And the most coincidental thing was that the both of them were seating side by side watching me.. Haha.. Really such a coincidence.. And thanks Syaz, Aisyah & Nazrul for the doughnuts.. And thanks Mum and dad for the keropoks and sugarcane juice..

Ok i haven't had enough sleep.. But the weird thing now is that i can't sleep! Urgh.. Oh
Ya! New Year Resolution! Not done yet.. Damn!

Ok tomorrow another hectic day where i'm working.. Therefore, i shall stop for now and continue blogging tomorrow.. Take care y'all.. Happy fucking new year!

2008-12-27T01:33:00.003+08:00

Like what i told Ruby juz now, if that's the pathetic sad life that you want to lead with your "i love you so much" friends who adores you so much but as a matter of fact, they are just a bunch of spotlight hoggers then go ahead.. Well your life is ruined anyway.. You are basically in turmoil of almost everything.. So good luck! And just stop lying will you? Like seriously, i don't give a shit about what you are doing anymore.. I just pity your social life.. Poor you!

I went to Mr Francis house juz now for Christmas Dinner.. But being lazy as you all know me, i am juz too lazy to steal the pictures from eezann's multiply.. So just view them yourselves alright? Besides, i came later during the dinner as i was from work so i wasn't really in the camwhoring sessions though..

http://ezanny.multiply.com

And Abang Halim keys in his password for facebook as "facebook".. Gosh he must really be tired..

Ok i found this application at Facebook.. It's called SUCK MY LOLLIPOP.. So if you were to receive this invitation from me that goes:

Hazlan has invited you to suck his lollipop.. Will you suck his lollipop?

Yes.

That is what you should click and have a good laugh after that.. Well i did..

Ouh and you can only suck your friends lollipop after every hour.. So you need to give an hour interval for your mouth to rest before you can start sucking again..

2008-12-25T11:57:00.004+08:00

I hate my previous post because it isn't my style of entries.. It feels very slipshod-ish and crappy.. Probably because i haven't been blogging for quite awhile and suddenly people have been coming up to me and said "Can you like update your blog Hazlan? It's like so dead!" and stuff like that so i have no choice but to do a rushed entry..

But anyway, that's not my point.. I am here now to do another long entry (hopefully) and i came with pictures just like Santa comes with all his presents! Credits to Syaz for the pictures..

Been spending quite a lot of time with the both of them lately.. And also through Syaz, i get to understand Abang better.. Anyway, here are the pictures! Some are a little outdated though..

This was taken during Vivo's 2nd year anniversary.. The three of us ate at Tong Seng and headed to Gotham building (I kinda forgot the real name for the place) and chillax for a while untill we decided to crash Syaz's house.. Anyway, meet syaz! The singapore-born aussie! Haha.. I kinda fell in love with this picture.. The both of us were star-gazing when syaz juz snap a photo of us.. This was taken at by the pool at Syaz's house.. We were playing monopoly at around 1am + in the clubhouse..Basically that's about all the pictures.. I'll have more pictures to post once i've gotten them.. Danny and Zamri owe me pictures! And Chanel too..

It's Christmas and i'm not working.. As a matter of fact, i'm blogging while rotting at home.. No! This shall not happen! I shall go out later.. Gosh it's Christmas! I can't possibly spent it at home! Anyway,

Wishing everyone out there a very MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Ok someone actually asked me this question but i didn't answer it.. The question goes:

If you are at Seah Im and the attraction operations are sitting on one side while the artiste are sitting on another side, who would you sit with?

Well since i didn't answer it, i shall answer it now.. I'll be fair.. I'll sit with attractions on one day and the artiste on another.. I know they'll understand.. Just so you know, they are not on war on something against each other.. Just different cliques.. But it'll be great if one fine day, everyone sits together.. I shall wish for that.. All of them are gerek people anyway.. The more they bond, the more happening they'll be..

Ok it think i'm done for today..

2008-12-24T01:28:00.002+08:00

so that i won't forget, i shall list down what to blog about..

1. Work
2. School
3. Friends

I think that should be enough..

Firstly, work.. I've been working at IOS for a couple of days already.. Been fun throughout with the fun and gerek people like Georgia, Sherri, Isaac, Ershad and myself.. Especially Ershad and Isaac.. If the three of us were to be rostered together on that day, i won't be surprised if Ios were to collapse.. Ok dying to do my first show! It will be at 31st December 2008.. So do come down and support me and ershad aites! Woohoo!!!!

Next. School

I went for SC meeting today and it was kinda fun to see my schoolmates back after not being in school for like how many days already.. And i badly miss my classmates like Ezann, Mira, Inda, Lulu, and many more.. I don;t miss ahmad, jena and ruby becoz i still see them lingering around the island..

Lastly, friends..

I miss you Anna & Raudha & Amalina & Leha & Ash! Quality time please!!! Ok thats it! I'. so making time for you guys! We need to bitch soon aites..

Waiting for syaz to pass me pictures...

And now skype-ing with syaz and abang halim.. (Thats my routine for at night nowadays)

And i'm finally not broke! I got my pay alas! All i need to do now is to bank in the cheque tomorrow morning..

2008-12-20T02:47:00.002+08:00

Finally, after weeks of training under the hot sun, getting all severely tanned, running here and there practicing hard for the rehearsal, its finally over.. I feel like a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders.. And we showed it off during assessment.. I think we did great.. We kinda improve gradually over the 3 days.. It was a pleasure performing with them especially Ershad my buddy who was beside me all along as i journey through this new and challenging path..

Right now, all i need to do now is to work hard and save up for something coming up next year..

Ok seriously, i'm fucking exhausted from rehearsal since last saturday till tuesday followed by ios + assessment from wednesday till today.. Tomorrow's my day off and i shall sleep like a pig.. And go out with Syaz & Abang..

Also, a big big gratitute to those who watched the show eventhough it was kinda late and stuff like that but yeah.. I would like to thank you guyz for all your support and your good luck wishes.. Later i get pay i blanja you guys ok?

2008-12-13T21:21:00.003+08:00

This day happened before and it happened again.. The day i am left alone.. I knew this day was coming and i actually had a backup plan but the plan itself backfires. So right now i am at home at 9.17 pm blogging like a normal typical teenager.. Ugh.. I so need a cigarette right now.. I shall have a smoke later..

I can't wait to enter ops room tomorrow because i have rehearsal and see all the drunk people lying on the floor like a sack of rice.. Worst! I better not see abang halim drunk till he can't even recognize me.. I am so going to smack him with a barricade if he does that..

Here are pictures that eezann owe me..

At housekeeping room preparing for the Bedmaking competition..
Ouh i was bored in class which always is so i went around to snap candid pictures
Atiqah forever 21 with her laptop
Lulu Sotong my sister to the max!
Wan Ahmad forever 21 with his PSP.. Sorry i couldn't get you tickets for Zoukout..

Ok 2nd part of Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban starting soon at 10pm.. Catch y'all later..

2008-12-13T00:30:00.003+08:00

Firstly, sorry syaz and abang for falling asleep on you guys last night.. Syaz, i think the movie made me sleepy.. I somehow was watching My Best Friend's Wedding on youtube.. I put my Tifa on my bed and i leaned on the wall beside my bed.. (I wasn't on the bed) So just imagine my position when i fell asleep.. But abang too fell asleep.. At least got khaki.. Hehe..

Today was my 2nd time doing IOS and its kind of boring yet fun at certain times.. I just love my lunch break and breaks.. Hazima was nice to me by extending my half hour break to 45 mins so i went to sleep.. But i overslept.. Haha.. Sorry Haz.. But luckily ershad was there too so the whole day wasn't that boring.. But because oh him, i always get into trouble.. We would do kantoi stuff together.. Haha.. Siol!

Oh and i just learn how to convert videos from youtube to mp3 format using Zamzar.. Cool or what! Now i know how to get the "hard to get songs".. Thanx Syaz for teaching me..

Lastly, i've just change my favourite video and song at my blog.. You guys can check it out and the orange bars..

Abang Lobster!!!

2008-12-12T01:22:00.002+08:00

I am pissed because i lost my mugwomp.. Oh mugwomp is my tiny voodoo doll that was found by Raudha at gallery one fine day.. I kept mugwomp as a keychain for my handphone and now is somehow left me.. I bet you guys would probably be thinking "Why name your voodoo doll mugwomp?" Well for a start, mugwomp is an ugly name and my voodoo doll has no eyeball on its left eye and its eye socket is dangling.. Thus the name!

Well in life, sometimes when you grow attached to something or someone, like mugwomp, they just tend to drift away or lose you.. Well that's part and parcel of life.. We all have to live with it..

Well anyway i think mugwomp is a jinx to me because ever since i got hold of him, i have been losing my belongings.. We'll see whether my luck will change..

2008-12-11T04:28:00.003+08:00

Yeah i finally got some pictures to liven up my blog a little instead of just words.. Anyway, here are the overdued pictures on board Doulos with Abang Halim.. Since there were just two of us and no one to snap the pics gor us, i have to edit it a little..

Holidays are here! But my project is still pending.. Haix.. What a poop! Fun sucker! So i'm blogging now at 4.30 am waiting for abang to finish his file transfer..But i don't mind not sleeping.. Himself and syaz are keeping me company through the night..

Ok i know this sounds silly.. I'm sure some of you have seen my white topman hoodie (courtesy of Ershad who gave it to me willingly). Well i decided to wash and bleach it today because its has gotten some minor stains so i did.. But i put a little too much softener and now it smells too wonderful and perfumed. To the extent that i am drying it now in my room and my room stinks of the fragrance. I bet it could even deodorize my whole neighbourhood if i were to put it out to dry..

Ok i think i'm turning in.. Have to wake p eatly tomorrow to go swimming with Abang..

2008-12-10T01:29:00.002+08:00

The test itself is like less than 8 hours and i am so not prepared.. Seriously, i'm in a hell of a trouble fro tomorrow.. I am so close to skipping school which i know would be impossible.. All i can do now is to study as much as i can for tonight.. Probably don't sleep at all and just cross my fingers..

Today, one of my colleague, stephanie, gave me this piece of advice which i posted a note in facebook.

Hazlan, you cannot be easily influenced especially at this age. People you come to be so fond of will break your heart. Just take care of yourself and keep a part of your heart to love yourself alone.

It really made an impact in my life and i think this piece of advice will stay with me for quite some time. Thank you stephanie.. You are a wonderful woman.

When you desperately cry for help from the heavens, no one answered your prayers. We prayed together with and for you hoping for a miracle and finally our prayers was answered. A little angel with amazing powers came and restored the order of the place. But you abuse the angel now that she has made your life so much easier. Have you ever thought back about the past? Did you ever look back? I don't think so.

Please awake your senses my dear friend. You are my guidance in life. I think its time you think for yourself and not for the others. We need you back. They need you back. We all love you no matter what happens. Start to cherish the one aiding you all this while. Let not the devil distract you.

2008-12-09T18:01:00.002+08:00

Ouh i got it all wrong for my staff party.. Firstly, it falls on the 29th so that means i can go.. Hehe.. Made a mistake at my 3rd post..

Today was quite a unique day at school.. I get to witness amazing things.. One was this girl who cheated the feelings of two guys and the 3 of them fought in front of me with Anna.. That was kind of interesting..

Second was about my class.. That i have nothing to say because i just find it childish to be a police case.. I hope that the police will give this expression of "Are you sure you want to press charges about this crap?" if it really happens.

Thirdly, i spent some time with my classmates today after school.. We went to IMM and chill for awhile..

Ok i just got news from someone.. And it makes my blood boil..

(Yahoo-ing now)

Mediator: A neutral party who assists in negotiation and conflict resolution, the process being known as mediation

Cool down and back to happy mode Hazlan..

Eezann! I need pictures! And abang Halim too! I need the pictures at the ship!

Ok seriously, eversince i quit Attraction Operations, i somehow feel that a burden has been lifted from my shoulders. Never in my life have i felt so free after school.. I don't feel the rush now.. I can go home and sleep or hang out and spent more time with my classmates and many more.. It's true i am enjoying my rehearsals with all the other artiste.. We have fun, we joke, we laugh..

But..

I feel that something is just missing.. The fun i have now is a different kind of fun.. All that i can do now is watch them from afar as they wear the X'mas hat with the brinjal uniform having fun on ground..

First thing first, i miss wearing that purple shirt, miss my nametag, miss my brown shoe which is still at dungeon, i miss having a walkie behind my back, miss having a earpiece on my ear, miss saying "OSCAR 1/2 COMING OVER" and the list can go on..

But then again, like one of my previous post, i have everyone that i need to walk with me..

2008-12-09T01:01:00.002+08:00

I can't wait when you're broke.. We'll see who clings on to you.. Then you'll come to your realization that what you are having now is temporary happiness which you re buying.. Stop messing up people's life.. Get your own life and move on.. This is my advice to you.. Don't make me slap you one day because you have gone too far..

Bitching session done.

2008-12-08T15:51:00.003+08:00

I just got back from grandparents house at Pasir ris which is actually my uncle's house but now he's a freeman.. As i expected, the comments that i will goes like this:

Aunties/Uncles: Eh eh Hazlan! Gelap nye! Kau buat ape? Asal sampai hangus/terbakar sampai mcm gini?

Translation: Eh eh Hazlan! So dark. What have you been up to? Why until so burnt and overcooked until like this?

My reply will be "training ar" but i would prefer my parents do the explanation.

So as the seniors were busy talking and planning for some makan trip to Johore which might falls on the 27th which happens to be staff party and i might have to forego it because family comes first, i was playing with Kimi & Hadi, (my two baby cozins) and when i got tired and bored of them, i slept at my grandma room till my family wanted to go home. So that's how i spent my Haji this year. Ouh and not forgetting the delicious food of coz...

I don't know what's wrong with me today but i just feel super tired and super hungry.. It's like as if i haven't slept for years and haven't eaten forever 21. I woke up at 11 this morning, went to my grandma's to eat and eat and eat and sleep. When i got home, i ate some more and now i'm blogging while listening to The Subways - With You. Afterwards, i'm gonna go to sleep. Unless someone calls or text me..

This week is going to be a very unique and special week for you and me.

2008-12-07T00:18:00.002+08:00

Went for late dinner yesterday at this restaurant called Rubina at Sembawang.. Buy i didn't really had fun because i was having a headache which also killed my appetite so i didn't eat much.. After that, i spent the night at Ershad's house which is kinda cool.. I love his house.. Very quaint and cosy!

We woke up late the next day for rehearsal.. That was a bum.. Haha.. So i told shad this:

"Eh shad, since we are late, might as well be any later.. Let's go have breakfast first at Mac's.."

And he's reply was:

"Anything.. After that we cab down to the island.."

And i said ok.. So thats my little morning story.. We also had the cab driver who kept talking cock to us.. Haha.. We paid him $1 extra for his jokes..

Before i move on, i'll like to talk about my beloved class..

To my class:

To be honest, i love every single one of you guys.. Everyone plays a part to make up that 35 people in the class list.. All of you are unique and special in your own ways which makes the class unique and special too.. Yes some of us have our flaws but i guess we should just adapt to it.. I really hope to find peace and tranquility because we have a lot of events coming up together.. I'm putting lots of hopes to our upcoming class chalet.. I hope i won't be disappointed...

But to be frank, i am just very disappointed in some people.. Sometimes, lies will get you nowhere.. It's just heart wrenching to see alL this.. I'll tell you this first.. You will never have my trust in you ever.. No matter how much you try to earn it.. Just pray hard that the class will accept you guys back.. And Mr Francis, i feel that its better if you just leave it to us to handle the matter.. Either that or just leave it as it is because some things are better left alone and untouched.. If touched, you might cause the nature of things to be imbalance thus aggravating the situation.. This applies to the rest as well..

Now back to where i was..

I was a bit indecisive bout where to go after rehearsal today because firstly i thought of meeting abang halim but i found out that he's working Songs today and theres a third show.. So i didn't want to wait for him cause i want to be home early today as yesterday i didn't go home.. I'm sorry abang.. I hope you understand..

Anaa invited me to town but i hate going to town on saturday night.. The crowd just pisses me off.. I got a call form kak dee saying that she and my brother wanted to watch Songs so i guess i should just stayed around in the artiste room and watch them play twister.. Haha.. I got doughnuts from Kak Dee! Thanx kakak!!!

Buti ended up going to town instead so there i was..

2008-12-05T09:24:00.004+08:00

I just finished my presentation and it was kinda bad actually.. The comment that we got was that some of us (which include me) seem like we didn't know our product.. But we scored high on our slides, graphics and many more.. It's just presentation skills here and there..

Now the other group is doing their presentation so here i am at the back of the class blogging..

I really feel that i've lost lots of people whom i really love.. It's either that we drift apart or someone stole that person away from me.. It just hurts to see him or her being snatched away from me and how i just want to kill and murder that son of a bitch.. Sometimes in life, we do have regrets but introducing you to my family was the greatest one and a huge mistake!

But to think again, i have all that i need to survive..

Firstly i have deela who have been my best friend since primary 5 and i think we never fought before.. I miss you deela.. Please meet up soon.. I don't even know what you are doing now.. I have Anna who is forever there for me.. I have raudha my 'girlfriend' who i know loves me a lot and i love you too baby.. I have ershad my brother who is walking beside me right now as i journey through a new path.. I have lyna whom i rarely sees her but yet she never fails to cheer me up together with Ash.. In school, i have Ezann & Mira and they are just what i need..Last but not least, i have abang Halim whom i really love a lot.. He just like a REAL brother to me.. I will forever remember what you said on 3rd December 2008, 8.30 pm at vivo skypark and remember my answer too..

These people are my pillars in life other than my family of course and if anyone ever does anything to them or harm them or hurt them in anyway way, i swear to god you will wish you that yoo will never be born.. I will make sure that you will suffer for as long as you are staying on Earth even if you are my best friend or close friend or whoever..

If your name is not mentioned, you should know that i have already lost you.. I'm sorry..